France, evening
I decided today that in months that I live here, I still didn't pay a single visit to the local museum. A friend of mine told me a week ago that the exposition about videos that is currently showed at the museum was great. So, today I went there.
I may not get art, which is probable. I like what I like and it doesn't matter how fancy it is or if the artist is famous or whatever critique tells me that what I am looking at is a unique piece of art. For me art is about what the thing I am looking at transmits to me. I love Van Gogh. I like Kandinsky. I think Leonardo da Vinci was a genius and Michelangelo was amazing. Actually part of my family is really artistic in terms of painting, architecture etc. I don't think I took anything from that side of the family. But still, I appreciate beauty. I appreciate when some author is able to transmit me something. The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona is amazing. It is something that doesn't leave me indifferent. It is something I would stare at for hours. And this is just an example. I loved Dali'.
But what I saw today. I just didn't get it. I mean, I know a lot of computer scientists who make more complicated and beautiful things that what I saw today. And they don't have an exposition in some big center of modern art. Of course, that is TOO TECHNICAL. Which means, it is automatically not artistic. What I saw today is about emotions, thus, it is art.
AH, Sorry, I didn't get that!!!!!!!
I think that the artistic part of my brain is not well developped.
There was one thing, a black wood panel. Simply like that. A black wood panel.
And that was art. And I paid to see that.
I don't get it. Who decides what is art and what no?
Next person who will ask me who pays me to do what I am doing for work (the most classical question I get from non-scientists is "do they really pay you to do that?"), I will buy him a ticket to visit this exposition. Because if you wonder why scientists get paid to study a fruitfly (like Sarah Palin does), then maybe he will need also to wonder who pays all the billion of artists in the world who make a plain black panel and call it a piece of art....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I am addicted!
France, evening
I am totally addicted. I never liked anything involving vampires. Not movies neither books. Now, I started the book "Twilight" before yesterday and I can't wait to be home to read it. It is addictive. Not as much as Harry Potter, but it is pretty good....
You know what I am going to do now....
READ!
I am totally addicted. I never liked anything involving vampires. Not movies neither books. Now, I started the book "Twilight" before yesterday and I can't wait to be home to read it. It is addictive. Not as much as Harry Potter, but it is pretty good....
You know what I am going to do now....
READ!
Friday, November 28, 2008
are we so hurt by the past to desire to erase it to move on?
France, night
In some way today I made it to this evening in a more or less fine way. I didn't go running as planned, because I wanted to completely recover from the cough. I went instead to the Virgin megastore next to my place and I bought a movie and of course, another book. The book is titled "a year in the merde" and it is supposed to be funny. The movie was "The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind". I also didn't feel like cooking, so I got some wok food from the wok to go place (next to the virgin, great thing to live downtown), came back home and watched the movie. And I liked it.
I liked the idea beyond the story. And I got to think, would I like to erase memories of past relationships that made me suffer?
I mean, a lot of pain from the past would be removed. A lot of the feeling of not being able to have a succesful relationship would be gone. It certainly would have positive aspects. But would I like to have that if it would be possible? how much of past negative experience does actually stay with us and influence us without we notice it?
I certainly wouldn't like to remove any single memory, positive or negative, of the people I really loved, but what about the one who just made me suffer a lot? I don't know, I still think I would like to keep all my memories, good or bad that they are...because the past experiences made me the way I am, good and bad, messy for a lot of things, stable and good for others.
So, I guess no, I wouldn't like that......but the story of the movie was certainly interesting, and the love story in there was really nice (nice? ok, if you didn't see the movie you can't get this one) in some parts.
In some way today I made it to this evening in a more or less fine way. I didn't go running as planned, because I wanted to completely recover from the cough. I went instead to the Virgin megastore next to my place and I bought a movie and of course, another book. The book is titled "a year in the merde" and it is supposed to be funny. The movie was "The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind". I also didn't feel like cooking, so I got some wok food from the wok to go place (next to the virgin, great thing to live downtown), came back home and watched the movie. And I liked it.
I liked the idea beyond the story. And I got to think, would I like to erase memories of past relationships that made me suffer?
I mean, a lot of pain from the past would be removed. A lot of the feeling of not being able to have a succesful relationship would be gone. It certainly would have positive aspects. But would I like to have that if it would be possible? how much of past negative experience does actually stay with us and influence us without we notice it?
I certainly wouldn't like to remove any single memory, positive or negative, of the people I really loved, but what about the one who just made me suffer a lot? I don't know, I still think I would like to keep all my memories, good or bad that they are...because the past experiences made me the way I am, good and bad, messy for a lot of things, stable and good for others.
So, I guess no, I wouldn't like that......but the story of the movie was certainly interesting, and the love story in there was really nice (nice? ok, if you didn't see the movie you can't get this one) in some parts.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
before going to bed
France, night
Just a quick post....the two friends I talked about in my previous post...we just had a really really nice night out. We laughed a lot and it was really nice. One of them will leave tomorrow. It was a nice last (at least for now) evening together. Sometimes we are really weird....everyone is so busy with their own lives and so absorbed in their own things to not even stop for a minute to think what really makes life better. I think a evening laughing is something that makes my life better. It is part of some quality time. Sometimes we are so much into our own world that we really forget what it matters and who matters.
Good night
Just a quick post....the two friends I talked about in my previous post...we just had a really really nice night out. We laughed a lot and it was really nice. One of them will leave tomorrow. It was a nice last (at least for now) evening together. Sometimes we are really weird....everyone is so busy with their own lives and so absorbed in their own things to not even stop for a minute to think what really makes life better. I think a evening laughing is something that makes my life better. It is part of some quality time. Sometimes we are so much into our own world that we really forget what it matters and who matters.
Good night
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Some day is just too long
France, evening
A list of my day today. I feel like today lasted for at least a couple of days. Too full. Just too full. And it is not over.
Morning, biking in the direction of work. A car was badly parked so the driver of the car that was entering in the road where I was biking couldn't see who was coming. I was awake enough to avoid it. But it almost hit me. Almost, but not fortunately. After that, I thought it was my good day.
Got to work, started to work. For the last 5th days in a row (or more) I wrote an email to one of my friends to ask her if everything was ok, if something happened, since I didn't hear from her in a long time, she didn't answer to my emails nothing. I asked her to have lunch together, to go out, if she was ok. Nothing. Not a single word. This is the same person that a couple of weeks ago said that she only had two people who consider friends here, me and another guy. I thought, ok she may be busy. Today I saw her at the lunch place. I got a really bad feeling. She considered me really little, and she kept talking in a kind of an arrogant way, like I can't understand her day was more difficult, everything was more etc. I got disturbed. I know that she has a really high opinion of her work and of how good she is, and I think it is really good, but this doesn't mean to make other people feel less or that they can't understand or that what they have is less. I am sure that she didn't mean bad. But sometimes you can hurt someone even if you don't mean bad.
So, I got to a point in which I stopped to think that the only two people I knew here till a few weeks ago were this woman and the one who called me to say that someone said I was ugly! Can you believe that? The only two people I knew where two people who love to make me feel bad about myself and less than them (which is anyway not that difficult in general).
I digested this to move to the after lunch part of the day which consisted of three different meetings in French for a total of 3 hours and half. Meetings that were highly recomended and which I didn't enjoy, I didn't contribute and I got nothing out of it. I should have left the meetings.
The last meeting was actually me speaking. I spoke in French and I don't think I did bad. According to my boss (the main big boss) however, the results of my work so far are not that exciting...and even if it is not my fault, because the data are what they are and I did my best, he said that my results were kind of expected and so....what's new about it???
Plus, I am still fighting for my apartment. Still nothing has been repaired. Still the agency treats this as if it is something normal (a month is passed already since I had the infiltration). I can't take it any longer. The amount of stress this apartment caused me is incredible. If I could, I would change apartment now. And my rent is 450 euros for a place with a bathroom that falls apart. It is incredible. I had a lot of email exchange with the agency and a phone call and everything seems according to them, normal...Does the apartment fall apart? just sit and wait, maybe someone will come to repair something....maybe...
I would really need a strong hug now.
I am so tired of always having to fight my battles always alone.
I really need a hug.
A list of my day today. I feel like today lasted for at least a couple of days. Too full. Just too full. And it is not over.
Morning, biking in the direction of work. A car was badly parked so the driver of the car that was entering in the road where I was biking couldn't see who was coming. I was awake enough to avoid it. But it almost hit me. Almost, but not fortunately. After that, I thought it was my good day.
Got to work, started to work. For the last 5th days in a row (or more) I wrote an email to one of my friends to ask her if everything was ok, if something happened, since I didn't hear from her in a long time, she didn't answer to my emails nothing. I asked her to have lunch together, to go out, if she was ok. Nothing. Not a single word. This is the same person that a couple of weeks ago said that she only had two people who consider friends here, me and another guy. I thought, ok she may be busy. Today I saw her at the lunch place. I got a really bad feeling. She considered me really little, and she kept talking in a kind of an arrogant way, like I can't understand her day was more difficult, everything was more etc. I got disturbed. I know that she has a really high opinion of her work and of how good she is, and I think it is really good, but this doesn't mean to make other people feel less or that they can't understand or that what they have is less. I am sure that she didn't mean bad. But sometimes you can hurt someone even if you don't mean bad.
So, I got to a point in which I stopped to think that the only two people I knew here till a few weeks ago were this woman and the one who called me to say that someone said I was ugly! Can you believe that? The only two people I knew where two people who love to make me feel bad about myself and less than them (which is anyway not that difficult in general).
I digested this to move to the after lunch part of the day which consisted of three different meetings in French for a total of 3 hours and half. Meetings that were highly recomended and which I didn't enjoy, I didn't contribute and I got nothing out of it. I should have left the meetings.
The last meeting was actually me speaking. I spoke in French and I don't think I did bad. According to my boss (the main big boss) however, the results of my work so far are not that exciting...and even if it is not my fault, because the data are what they are and I did my best, he said that my results were kind of expected and so....what's new about it???
Plus, I am still fighting for my apartment. Still nothing has been repaired. Still the agency treats this as if it is something normal (a month is passed already since I had the infiltration). I can't take it any longer. The amount of stress this apartment caused me is incredible. If I could, I would change apartment now. And my rent is 450 euros for a place with a bathroom that falls apart. It is incredible. I had a lot of email exchange with the agency and a phone call and everything seems according to them, normal...Does the apartment fall apart? just sit and wait, maybe someone will come to repair something....maybe...
I would really need a strong hug now.
I am so tired of always having to fight my battles always alone.
I really need a hug.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
and I bought another book
France, evening
If I have an addiction, or I should say one of my addictions, is to buy books. I cannot enter in a book shop and get out without a book. I mean, I can, but it is really really hard. So, even if now I am already busy reading three different kind of books, I couldn't resist to buy "Twilight".....many people wrote or told me nice things about this book that I absolutely wanted to read it. I guess I will start it in a couple of weeks. Of course, I will not go to see the movie, otherwise all the surprise of the book would be gone!
For tonight, instead of reading any book, I should just try to find the motivation of working in my presentation for tomorrow. It has to be in French....I think I would have problems to give my presentation in Italian, since I know the technical terms only in English, but at least it would be my mother language...but in French.....it is going to be interesting....
If I have an addiction, or I should say one of my addictions, is to buy books. I cannot enter in a book shop and get out without a book. I mean, I can, but it is really really hard. So, even if now I am already busy reading three different kind of books, I couldn't resist to buy "Twilight".....many people wrote or told me nice things about this book that I absolutely wanted to read it. I guess I will start it in a couple of weeks. Of course, I will not go to see the movie, otherwise all the surprise of the book would be gone!
For tonight, instead of reading any book, I should just try to find the motivation of working in my presentation for tomorrow. It has to be in French....I think I would have problems to give my presentation in Italian, since I know the technical terms only in English, but at least it would be my mother language...but in French.....it is going to be interesting....
Monday, November 24, 2008
same word, different languages
France, lunch time
I had lunch with my Iranian colleague today, like almost every day. And I shocked him. I asked him if he liked and knew the cous cous. And he shocked asked me "what???".
Apparently in Iran cous cous is a taboo word, something that you shouldn't say. For me, of course, the cous cous is this grainy thing to eat. And I love it.
Of course, as I am curios, I couldn't resist to ask him what cous cous means in Sirian. He was quite embarassed and then he told me that it means "the female genitalia organ"........and he added "imagine if when I go back to Iran I say that I have been eating cous cous"....
Same word, different languages....I guess that sometimes this can create some weird misunderstanding....So, if you travel to Iran, make sure to not ask for cous cous!
I had lunch with my Iranian colleague today, like almost every day. And I shocked him. I asked him if he liked and knew the cous cous. And he shocked asked me "what???".
Apparently in Iran cous cous is a taboo word, something that you shouldn't say. For me, of course, the cous cous is this grainy thing to eat. And I love it.
Of course, as I am curios, I couldn't resist to ask him what cous cous means in Sirian. He was quite embarassed and then he told me that it means "the female genitalia organ"........and he added "imagine if when I go back to Iran I say that I have been eating cous cous"....
Same word, different languages....I guess that sometimes this can create some weird misunderstanding....So, if you travel to Iran, make sure to not ask for cous cous!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Being John Malkovich
France, night
I just saw one of the weirdest movie I ever seen. Being John Malkovich. Brilliant story, great actors, incredible John Malkovich....But the story is quite sad. Brilliant, but sad. I am not sure if I liked it.
Beside when I was younger I had a bit of this thing of thinking of being in someone else head/life/show, a bit like in The Truman show...so these movies always leave me a bit puzzled....
I just saw one of the weirdest movie I ever seen. Being John Malkovich. Brilliant story, great actors, incredible John Malkovich....But the story is quite sad. Brilliant, but sad. I am not sure if I liked it.
Beside when I was younger I had a bit of this thing of thinking of being in someone else head/life/show, a bit like in The Truman show...so these movies always leave me a bit puzzled....
blog personality
France, lunch time
Ok, I am going to stop to blog. In a bit I am going out for a walk. But I found out this blog personality test from MissB blog.
This is what I got from the analysis of my blog....I am not sure the second part fits that well, but oh well....for sure the soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells part is true!
Ok, I am going to stop to blog. In a bit I am going out for a walk. But I found out this blog personality test from MissB blog.
This is what I got from the analysis of my blog....I am not sure the second part fits that well, but oh well....for sure the soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells part is true!
ESFP - The Performers
The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.
The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
do I look that serious?
France, lunch time
Wild night. I couldn't sleep till 5 am this morning because of my cough....of course, not really taking care of it doesn't improve anything.
Last night I went dancing. And I danced like crazy (it is one of my addictions). I enjoyed it a lot. And I realized something. People who do not know me consider me much more serious than what I actually am. Maybe because of my job, maybe because I think a lot, maybe because at the beginning if I am not too comfortable with the crowd I am shy, maybe because I don't drink alcohol, because I try to be healthy, because I don't smoke, dunno....the thing is, people who don't know me after a few times that we do things together, always get surprised to find out that I am not the too serious person they thought I was.
And this happened again yesterday. I dance a bit like a crazy person and I am sure that if you are not used to see someone who moves so much and so fast as soon as she hears the music, than yes, it could be a bit shocking at first. Then I made a comment about one of the barman being cute and actually quite sexy for my taste. And this was even more surprising apparently. The mentioned barman looked like a surfer guy, someone looking wild, an "outdoor" person. I don't know, it is difficult to explain how he really looked like, beside that he was attractive (and I am really really picky). Let's say he was not looking like the classical family man looks like. And exactly for this reason, I liked him. I mean, I am someone who thinks that John Malkovich and Elio Germano are extremely sexy... But of course, if you don't know me, you don't know this for sure about me.
So, one of the girl who was with me, when we left the disco-pub told me that she was surprised that I could find sexy someone like him. And that she thought that I was more for the intellectual looking type of guy, someone looking more serious like me....
Do I look that serious? I didn't take it as a compliment (of course she didn't mean it in a positive or negative way)...I consider myself really serious in terms of values, I am definitively serious when it comes to work, but I love to have fun.....maybe I should wear more often my bright yellow pants, instead of my plain jeans....
In any case, none but maybe one of the people I liked or felt in love for was looking like the intellectual type of guy. The people I actually felt in love for are all the three extremely smart and for sure intelligent, but they do not look that serious. And I found them amazingly attractive for this contrast.
It is kind of funny when you find out that people judged you in a quite different way from the "real" you....
Wild night. I couldn't sleep till 5 am this morning because of my cough....of course, not really taking care of it doesn't improve anything.
Last night I went dancing. And I danced like crazy (it is one of my addictions). I enjoyed it a lot. And I realized something. People who do not know me consider me much more serious than what I actually am. Maybe because of my job, maybe because I think a lot, maybe because at the beginning if I am not too comfortable with the crowd I am shy, maybe because I don't drink alcohol, because I try to be healthy, because I don't smoke, dunno....the thing is, people who don't know me after a few times that we do things together, always get surprised to find out that I am not the too serious person they thought I was.
And this happened again yesterday. I dance a bit like a crazy person and I am sure that if you are not used to see someone who moves so much and so fast as soon as she hears the music, than yes, it could be a bit shocking at first. Then I made a comment about one of the barman being cute and actually quite sexy for my taste. And this was even more surprising apparently. The mentioned barman looked like a surfer guy, someone looking wild, an "outdoor" person. I don't know, it is difficult to explain how he really looked like, beside that he was attractive (and I am really really picky). Let's say he was not looking like the classical family man looks like. And exactly for this reason, I liked him. I mean, I am someone who thinks that John Malkovich and Elio Germano are extremely sexy... But of course, if you don't know me, you don't know this for sure about me.
So, one of the girl who was with me, when we left the disco-pub told me that she was surprised that I could find sexy someone like him. And that she thought that I was more for the intellectual looking type of guy, someone looking more serious like me....
Do I look that serious? I didn't take it as a compliment (of course she didn't mean it in a positive or negative way)...I consider myself really serious in terms of values, I am definitively serious when it comes to work, but I love to have fun.....maybe I should wear more often my bright yellow pants, instead of my plain jeans....
In any case, none but maybe one of the people I liked or felt in love for was looking like the intellectual type of guy. The people I actually felt in love for are all the three extremely smart and for sure intelligent, but they do not look that serious. And I found them amazingly attractive for this contrast.
It is kind of funny when you find out that people judged you in a quite different way from the "real" you....
Friday, November 21, 2008
should, would
France, evening
Evening at home for me. Hot tea with honey and a movie...and hopefully my cough will get better. I also took an herbal product for the cough. I hope it will not give me allergy (so far so good) and that it will actually do something.
This evening I got to think about what I would like to do sometimes and what I instead feel I should do because it is the correct thing to do. There is this brand of clothing that I love "Life is good". I am actually not sure if the brand has this name, but anyway, t-shirts, mugs, hats, all have this thing written on "Life is good". I actually regret that when I was in the USA I didn't buy a long-sleeves shirt with written "Life is good. Do what you like, like what you do" (or on the other way around).
I think it is such a simple true thing that a lot of time I forget. Do what I like, like what I do. Sometimes I am so stressed or so busy worrying about things that I forget this. I should print it big and hang it on the wall of my apartment, of my office, everywhere....
About this, sometime ago I was talking to a friend of mine and he was telling me that he went to a brain storming group about environment protection and living sustainable (or something like this). He said that all the participants were divided in groups in which different topics were discussed and that one of the things they told him before to start was that everyone should have been able to feel free to move from one group to another in case they were bored where or they were feeling that they didn't gain or contribute anything to the discussion. And then he said to me "isn't this something that we should be able to do also in normal life relationships?"
Maybe it should, for sure it wouldn't be considered nice to the person or the people talking to you...
But in fact, it is an interesting concept. While we were talking about this, I got to think about how many times I felt I was wasting my time, how many times I was in a place feeling I wanted to leave and how many times I did something different from what I wanted to do because of social constrains. I am not a superficial, arid person who is not able to listen. But I also feel, that sometimes out of guilt, out of what I feel I should do instead of what I would like to do, I constrain myself and so it would be actually nice if without hurting anyone, I could be able to stand up and leave a place, a conversation, a relationship, whatever...instead, I stay there and feel out of place or miserable. I should be able to say no, instead of yes if I would like to say no.
Do what you like, like what you do. Life is good.
Maybe I should keep this in mind.
Evening at home for me. Hot tea with honey and a movie...and hopefully my cough will get better. I also took an herbal product for the cough. I hope it will not give me allergy (so far so good) and that it will actually do something.
This evening I got to think about what I would like to do sometimes and what I instead feel I should do because it is the correct thing to do. There is this brand of clothing that I love "Life is good". I am actually not sure if the brand has this name, but anyway, t-shirts, mugs, hats, all have this thing written on "Life is good". I actually regret that when I was in the USA I didn't buy a long-sleeves shirt with written "Life is good. Do what you like, like what you do" (or on the other way around).
I think it is such a simple true thing that a lot of time I forget. Do what I like, like what I do. Sometimes I am so stressed or so busy worrying about things that I forget this. I should print it big and hang it on the wall of my apartment, of my office, everywhere....
About this, sometime ago I was talking to a friend of mine and he was telling me that he went to a brain storming group about environment protection and living sustainable (or something like this). He said that all the participants were divided in groups in which different topics were discussed and that one of the things they told him before to start was that everyone should have been able to feel free to move from one group to another in case they were bored where or they were feeling that they didn't gain or contribute anything to the discussion. And then he said to me "isn't this something that we should be able to do also in normal life relationships?"
Maybe it should, for sure it wouldn't be considered nice to the person or the people talking to you...
But in fact, it is an interesting concept. While we were talking about this, I got to think about how many times I felt I was wasting my time, how many times I was in a place feeling I wanted to leave and how many times I did something different from what I wanted to do because of social constrains. I am not a superficial, arid person who is not able to listen. But I also feel, that sometimes out of guilt, out of what I feel I should do instead of what I would like to do, I constrain myself and so it would be actually nice if without hurting anyone, I could be able to stand up and leave a place, a conversation, a relationship, whatever...instead, I stay there and feel out of place or miserable. I should be able to say no, instead of yes if I would like to say no.
Do what you like, like what you do. Life is good.
Maybe I should keep this in mind.
and this is cool
France, morning
Check this out. If I would have something like this, I would spend even more time at the computer. Fortunately for now, there is no such a risk!
g-speak overview 1828121108 from john underkoffler on Vimeo.
Check this out. If I would have something like this, I would spend even more time at the computer. Fortunately for now, there is no such a risk!
g-speak overview 1828121108 from john underkoffler on Vimeo.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
my man side
France, evening
I am sick. I wrote this already a couple of times. I don't have fever, I just cough like crazy. Plus, I seem a transvestite. If someone talk to me without seeing me (let's say on the phone), I have now this deep voice characteristics of a) a wild man (at least in my imagination) b) someone who smokes a lot c) case a)+ case b)....
In any case, it is not something you would like to hear anyway....And it is at least since three days that I am carrying around this voice...Yesterday, I even scared a guy who came to the office to ask me to go to the a coffee with the others....
Today I am also dressed in pink...it doesn't really go with my voice....
PS. I was planning to go for a run tomorrow...I am not that it is a good idea...
I am sick. I wrote this already a couple of times. I don't have fever, I just cough like crazy. Plus, I seem a transvestite. If someone talk to me without seeing me (let's say on the phone), I have now this deep voice characteristics of a) a wild man (at least in my imagination) b) someone who smokes a lot c) case a)+ case b)....
In any case, it is not something you would like to hear anyway....And it is at least since three days that I am carrying around this voice...Yesterday, I even scared a guy who came to the office to ask me to go to the a coffee with the others....
Today I am also dressed in pink...it doesn't really go with my voice....
PS. I was planning to go for a run tomorrow...I am not that it is a good idea...
is it really going to happen?
France, lunch time
I just got a phone call. It seems that my email of complains about the situation with my apartment moved something. Someone is supposed to come to see the conditions of the bathroom on monday morning. Of course, this is only the person who will check the entity of the damage.
Then this person will contact someone else to do the work on the roof (how long will I have to wait for this second person?), so on the outside of my apartment.
Once that is done, a third person will have to come to do the work in my bathroom (hopefully).....
Just a rough prediction...I could bet that all this will take some months.....we will see...
I just got a phone call. It seems that my email of complains about the situation with my apartment moved something. Someone is supposed to come to see the conditions of the bathroom on monday morning. Of course, this is only the person who will check the entity of the damage.
Then this person will contact someone else to do the work on the roof (how long will I have to wait for this second person?), so on the outside of my apartment.
Once that is done, a third person will have to come to do the work in my bathroom (hopefully).....
Just a rough prediction...I could bet that all this will take some months.....we will see...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The best feature
France, night
I was just thinking...what is the best feature of a man?
If he makes me laugh. I can't resist a man who makes me laugh, especially if he does it in a nice way (no vulgarity please).
Of course it is not the only quality that makes me love someone, but the person I love has for sure to be able to make me smile and laugh.
I was just thinking...what is the best feature of a man?
If he makes me laugh. I can't resist a man who makes me laugh, especially if he does it in a nice way (no vulgarity please).
Of course it is not the only quality that makes me love someone, but the person I love has for sure to be able to make me smile and laugh.
how can France be such a strong country?
France, eveningI am here, in my humid apartment with this question moving around in my head. It seems to me that to do the simplest thing in the world here, not only it takes ages, but it is worst than the South American "manana, manana"....basically, you can wait till your hair are all white and still nothing will happen.
Do you need some paperwork done for work? that takes about a month, if there are no problem with it. Do you need something urgent, like repairing the heater in winter? that would probably take some month (the heating in my office blows cold hair, like if we were in the middle of the summer)...do you need something fixed in your apartment? just forget it.
I just sent a semi-unfriendly email to the agency that rented me this cool apartment that falls apart. I signed a declaration that I had a water infiltration from the roof a month ago. During this month, we had more rain, more sun, more rain and now sun since 10 days. At the agency they told me that because before it was raining and the roof was slippery, then none could come till this week, so when everything will be well dried. Fine, I understand that. Now, today is wednesday, nobody called, nobody came. Wanna bet that till next week (except if my email will move something) nothing is again going to happen?
Just to have an idea of the condition of my bathroom, I put here two pictures. The wall is so humid that when it rains, if I press a paper to the wall, the paper gets wet. My apartment is so humid that with the heater on it seems to be in a tropical forest...and then I wonder why I get sick over and over....right, why????Beside, if it starts raining again (which cannot be excluded), the water is now entering also in the other room (my bedroom/living room) where I have everything (books, computer, etc...)...I am not really happy about this possibility.
Sorry, I am slightly pissed. I have no patient, especially when I see a lot of unprofessional people around me. I miss Germany for this. Every country really has its up and down sides...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
shit
France, afternoon
Shit! I just heard that I did not get one of the grants I applied to. This means that in a less than a year I will have to move again.
My mood is under my shoes now.
Plus, I have to start thinking about where to go next. I am so tired of moving around the world every year and starting a life in another place again. If someone now tells me how cool it is to move and start a life again every year in a different place, I am going to kill this person, I promise!
PS. I can believe it. I just found out (1 hour after I received the news) that it may be that there has been a mistake in the results...I will know more about it tomorrow...maybe there is still some hope!!!! maybe....
Shit! I just heard that I did not get one of the grants I applied to. This means that in a less than a year I will have to move again.
My mood is under my shoes now.
Plus, I have to start thinking about where to go next. I am so tired of moving around the world every year and starting a life in another place again. If someone now tells me how cool it is to move and start a life again every year in a different place, I am going to kill this person, I promise!
PS. I can believe it. I just found out (1 hour after I received the news) that it may be that there has been a mistake in the results...I will know more about it tomorrow...maybe there is still some hope!!!! maybe....
Monday, November 17, 2008
the wrong models
France, evening
Does it happen to everyone to see a couple and think "oh, I would like to be like them", to see someone who has the job of your dreams and think "oh, I would love to be her" and so on and so on? It is not jealousy mine, it is more seeing someone living something that I wish I will live too exactly in that way.
Well, models can be wrong sometimes. In my case, for sure. My infinite imagination makes me creating profiles and lives for the people I decide to be my model. I project on someone else the idea of how something should be. It happened to me already three times, two in terms of work, one in terms of a couple I know. I thought, they had it all.
Instead, they did it, but just in my head.
So, I had a cold shower when I woke up.
First model. One of my PhD supervisor. Incredibly smart, incredibly nice, funny, successful guy. I always knew I could never be like him, I am not that talented in what I am doing, not as much as he is. What I didn't realize is that my model almost destroyed his health and his life doing anything else beside working day and night. He wore himself out, till a point in which I didn't even recognize anymore the nice guy that was in him once. I met him recently, he looks good now. He said that he realized that he was destroying his health for everyone except him and so he decided to change his life style. He is still successful, but I guess in a more normal way.
I thought he had it all, instead he was miserable. First wrong model (or at least, wrong when he was a model to me).
Second. My boss in the USA. The first time I met my future boss, I thought wow, this person has a great job at a great University, a great partner, a cool house and two nice kids. This person has it all. I came back to Italy and I remember to tell to my grandma "I wish I could be like that one day". Now, I wish even in a stronger way to never became like that. It turned out that a) I don't think this person is that happy + is not that good in what she does + looks extremely frustrated + is an horrible boss + everything looks like a nice cover for something that it is probably not that pink. Result, not only this person is not my model anymore, but it became exactly the opposite. Someone you see and think "I know exactly how I don't want to end up".
Third, this couple I know. They were great. Amazing love story, she strongly wanted him, completely different characters that made up for how much they loved each others, great in working together, one following the other around the world and vice-versa, supporting each other. Just great! A really great match to my eyes. It turned out that probably what it looked like a pink life to me was instead a bit more of a grey life. They split after long time. And this made me extremely sad. I thought that if they made it beside all the difficulties, then there would be hope also for me.
This to say, that maybe I should stop to live in my imaginary world, to project my fantasies of the future life I would like to have on other people and instead, living more. I am just not sure from where to start..................
Does it happen to everyone to see a couple and think "oh, I would like to be like them", to see someone who has the job of your dreams and think "oh, I would love to be her" and so on and so on? It is not jealousy mine, it is more seeing someone living something that I wish I will live too exactly in that way.
Well, models can be wrong sometimes. In my case, for sure. My infinite imagination makes me creating profiles and lives for the people I decide to be my model. I project on someone else the idea of how something should be. It happened to me already three times, two in terms of work, one in terms of a couple I know. I thought, they had it all.
Instead, they did it, but just in my head.
So, I had a cold shower when I woke up.
First model. One of my PhD supervisor. Incredibly smart, incredibly nice, funny, successful guy. I always knew I could never be like him, I am not that talented in what I am doing, not as much as he is. What I didn't realize is that my model almost destroyed his health and his life doing anything else beside working day and night. He wore himself out, till a point in which I didn't even recognize anymore the nice guy that was in him once. I met him recently, he looks good now. He said that he realized that he was destroying his health for everyone except him and so he decided to change his life style. He is still successful, but I guess in a more normal way.
I thought he had it all, instead he was miserable. First wrong model (or at least, wrong when he was a model to me).
Second. My boss in the USA. The first time I met my future boss, I thought wow, this person has a great job at a great University, a great partner, a cool house and two nice kids. This person has it all. I came back to Italy and I remember to tell to my grandma "I wish I could be like that one day". Now, I wish even in a stronger way to never became like that. It turned out that a) I don't think this person is that happy + is not that good in what she does + looks extremely frustrated + is an horrible boss + everything looks like a nice cover for something that it is probably not that pink. Result, not only this person is not my model anymore, but it became exactly the opposite. Someone you see and think "I know exactly how I don't want to end up".
Third, this couple I know. They were great. Amazing love story, she strongly wanted him, completely different characters that made up for how much they loved each others, great in working together, one following the other around the world and vice-versa, supporting each other. Just great! A really great match to my eyes. It turned out that probably what it looked like a pink life to me was instead a bit more of a grey life. They split after long time. And this made me extremely sad. I thought that if they made it beside all the difficulties, then there would be hope also for me.
This to say, that maybe I should stop to live in my imaginary world, to project my fantasies of the future life I would like to have on other people and instead, living more. I am just not sure from where to start..................
why do I keep getting sick here?
France, evening
I don't get it. I don't normally get sick. Here, it is the third time since August. Basically, I get sick once a month. Is it normal? if we count on top of this that I also had twice an allergic reaction, then the situation starts to worry me....
I really need to get a check up when I will be back in Italy....
I don't get it. I don't normally get sick. Here, it is the third time since August. Basically, I get sick once a month. Is it normal? if we count on top of this that I also had twice an allergic reaction, then the situation starts to worry me....
I really need to get a check up when I will be back in Italy....
Sunday, November 16, 2008
my neighbour and his carreer
France, afternoon
My neighbour is probably dreaming to became a famous rock singer. This is probably why since an hour is practicing the same piece of the same crappy song. The song is quite bad, plus when he sings, it sounds like he is vomiting in the microphone. Of course he needs a microphone, so that the entire building can listen to his performance. I think his girlfriend left in the early afternoon. I got the impression that she doesn't like the way her boyfriend sings either, since she always escapes before his acoustic performances. Of course, while he is practicing his singing skills, I am at home, in the apartment next to him, separated by just a fake wall, trying to concentrate and work.....
Should I ring his bell, be rude and tell him that he can stop singing and give up his dreams considering that he quite sucks in that?
I know, it would be quite bad...poor guy...maybe I can stop working for a bit and go for a walk...
My neighbour is probably dreaming to became a famous rock singer. This is probably why since an hour is practicing the same piece of the same crappy song. The song is quite bad, plus when he sings, it sounds like he is vomiting in the microphone. Of course he needs a microphone, so that the entire building can listen to his performance. I think his girlfriend left in the early afternoon. I got the impression that she doesn't like the way her boyfriend sings either, since she always escapes before his acoustic performances. Of course, while he is practicing his singing skills, I am at home, in the apartment next to him, separated by just a fake wall, trying to concentrate and work.....
Should I ring his bell, be rude and tell him that he can stop singing and give up his dreams considering that he quite sucks in that?
I know, it would be quite bad...poor guy...maybe I can stop working for a bit and go for a walk...
carreer
France, lunch time
I slept a lot. I needed it. I think I slept something like 10 hours and half last night. I came back from watching a movie at one of my new friend place. The movie was absurd. The evening was nice. I think I would not be a good critique for movies, since I often disagree with the evaluation of some movie database. The movie was "8 femmes". A lot of good actresses wasted for that movie.
On friday I went dancing, with the same girl and other people. I love dancing, it is one of my passions. I am a disaster in whatever dance needs some technique (salsa, merengue, ballet), but when it comes to hip hop and improvising, I think I can dance. When I dance I am totally into my own world and so I was surprised when two guys came to me last night to tell me that I dance really well and they liked to watch me dancing. They were honestly not trying to approach me, because they did not keep talking to me (maybe also because I considered them "zero"), they just wanted to tell me that I basically impressed them. Ok, I have to admit it. That was a boosting thing for myself. So, when I started to pay a bit more attention to the people around me, I saw that yes, some people were staring at me dancing. It was nice. And so I started to think that since it is so difficult to find money to keep doing what I am doing, maybe if in the future I will have problem to find a salary then I could always have a part-time job in a disco-pub, while during the day I would keep up with my scientific career. It wouldn't be the first time, I already did it for quite a while when I was in Italy.
The main problems I see with this are: 1) when you are one of the girls paid to dance in a disco-pub is not that much about how you dance, but much more about how you look. The girl who was dancing at the place where I went friday couldn't do much more that moving her hips, but she was half naked and with a really nice body. In my case it would be different. I wouldn't dance half naked, I don't have a body that people would stare at, but I can dance. Based on the current requirements, I could not do the job.
2) I could be a much better bar-tender, since I don't even drink and I already did it for a while (in my previous job at the disco-pub before they decided to put me at the wardrobe :-(). But currently bar-tenders to be cool have to have a lot of piercing and tatoos. I have no tatoos and not really interested in getting one (and in the rare event I would get one, it would be on one of my foot, so not that visible) and the same goes for the piercing (ok, except for the ones for my earings, but they are quite plain). I would not considered cool enough to get the job then.
I keep thinking about ways to make money in the future, to survive and to keep working in science in the case every country will keep cutting the funding to research.
But I always enjoy dancing anyway....
PS. I forgot. When we left the disco-pub we met again these two guys, who recognized us and one of them started to talk to me. He was quite nice and not invasive. After I told him what I am doing for living he said "wow, then you are definitively intelligent"......I was surprised. I don't actually think about myself in that terms. Well educated, yes, intelligent, I don't know. I know a lot of intelligent people who didn't necessarily study that much and don't have a PhD. And I know a lot of people with a PhD who are definitively not that smart.....but I should thank those guys. In one evening I got two compliments from them and I can't say that they didn't make me feel good.
I slept a lot. I needed it. I think I slept something like 10 hours and half last night. I came back from watching a movie at one of my new friend place. The movie was absurd. The evening was nice. I think I would not be a good critique for movies, since I often disagree with the evaluation of some movie database. The movie was "8 femmes". A lot of good actresses wasted for that movie.
On friday I went dancing, with the same girl and other people. I love dancing, it is one of my passions. I am a disaster in whatever dance needs some technique (salsa, merengue, ballet), but when it comes to hip hop and improvising, I think I can dance. When I dance I am totally into my own world and so I was surprised when two guys came to me last night to tell me that I dance really well and they liked to watch me dancing. They were honestly not trying to approach me, because they did not keep talking to me (maybe also because I considered them "zero"), they just wanted to tell me that I basically impressed them. Ok, I have to admit it. That was a boosting thing for myself. So, when I started to pay a bit more attention to the people around me, I saw that yes, some people were staring at me dancing. It was nice. And so I started to think that since it is so difficult to find money to keep doing what I am doing, maybe if in the future I will have problem to find a salary then I could always have a part-time job in a disco-pub, while during the day I would keep up with my scientific career. It wouldn't be the first time, I already did it for quite a while when I was in Italy.
The main problems I see with this are: 1) when you are one of the girls paid to dance in a disco-pub is not that much about how you dance, but much more about how you look. The girl who was dancing at the place where I went friday couldn't do much more that moving her hips, but she was half naked and with a really nice body. In my case it would be different. I wouldn't dance half naked, I don't have a body that people would stare at, but I can dance. Based on the current requirements, I could not do the job.
2) I could be a much better bar-tender, since I don't even drink and I already did it for a while (in my previous job at the disco-pub before they decided to put me at the wardrobe :-(). But currently bar-tenders to be cool have to have a lot of piercing and tatoos. I have no tatoos and not really interested in getting one (and in the rare event I would get one, it would be on one of my foot, so not that visible) and the same goes for the piercing (ok, except for the ones for my earings, but they are quite plain). I would not considered cool enough to get the job then.
I keep thinking about ways to make money in the future, to survive and to keep working in science in the case every country will keep cutting the funding to research.
But I always enjoy dancing anyway....
PS. I forgot. When we left the disco-pub we met again these two guys, who recognized us and one of them started to talk to me. He was quite nice and not invasive. After I told him what I am doing for living he said "wow, then you are definitively intelligent"......I was surprised. I don't actually think about myself in that terms. Well educated, yes, intelligent, I don't know. I know a lot of intelligent people who didn't necessarily study that much and don't have a PhD. And I know a lot of people with a PhD who are definitively not that smart.....but I should thank those guys. In one evening I got two compliments from them and I can't say that they didn't make me feel good.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
kitchen
France, afternoon
On the week end, I definitively have problems to cope with my mood. I am sad and feeling lonely. And apparently, it doesn't even matter if yesterday I had a nice night out with one of the girls I met recently and I danced like crazy. Today, I still feel down.
Last night, I saw a girl fainting after drinking too much. She fainted so badly that I heard a laud BUM! when her head touched the floor. She lost knowledge. I don't know how it ended, I hope she is ok. I still don't get the need of getting stoned by alcohol or drugs to have fun. Where is the fun in that? I felt sorry and sad for her.
I had a nice chat with a friend yesterday about our youth. It seems that in some countries (I am Italian and she is from Colombia), much of life happens in the kitchen. My happiest memories of when I was younger are linked to the kitchen. I grew up in my mom's kitchen. I don't care about eating and I am a disaster in cooking, but my dream of my ideal family is strongly bind to a kitchen. I remember when my sister and I were trying to learn how to make home made pasta under my mom's instruction (and that was really funny, because as a perfectionist I was always trying to make the best looking pasta, while the one of my sister was always thick and hard to cook), when we were playing with a lot of weird ingredients (including some real food, as well as soap or anything white that could have looked like flour) and I was trying to poison my sister giving her to eat our artistic food, or when my school friends were coming to visit me to spend a lot of time in the kitchen again trying to create something.
The kitchen was the place to talk, to create, to laugh. I always loved to see my mom cooking, to see how from nothing she could make a pantagruelic meal. And I remember myself sitting on one of the kitchen furniture (being the table or whatever other thing) talking to her while she was cooking. The charm of the kitchen for me is linked to the social life happening in the kitchen. I like to smell the food (except cabbage I have to say), I like to look at it, I like the warm feeling of the kitchen. I remember that one of the first times I felt lonely abroad was when I walked by a house in Venezuela and I saw everyone in the kitchen, setting the table, cooking, laughing. I felt immediately home sick.
So, when yesterday I was talking to this friend of mine, recalling happy memories, we both tought of how nice it would be to have a nice kitchen with a large table, where family and friends can sit and talk and eat and laugh. A place where everyone could feel welcomed. If I will ever have kids, and if I will live with someone, I think that exactly this would be the reason to push me to learn how to cook and cook more. To take care of them, to make them feel home, to make them feel the joy of such an environment like the one I had when I was young in my mom's kitchen. It is something wonderful, and I wish everyone could experience that. And this is probably why the only thing I like to cook are cakes/pies. Because you need to share them with the others, because cakes are something that most of the people like and enjoy, because cakes are immediately associated with something joyful, party-like even if there is no a special occasion. I made a lot of cakes when I was in Germany and a bit also when I was in the USA, but here I didn't yet. I don't even have a proper oven and I don't know with whom to share them yet....
PS. This post is for my mom and for all the happy memories I have related to her cooking in the kitchen.
PPS. I can't wait to be home for Christmas. One of the more recent memories I have in my head now is my mom making waffles and my grandmother trying that strange food-creature.
On the week end, I definitively have problems to cope with my mood. I am sad and feeling lonely. And apparently, it doesn't even matter if yesterday I had a nice night out with one of the girls I met recently and I danced like crazy. Today, I still feel down.
Last night, I saw a girl fainting after drinking too much. She fainted so badly that I heard a laud BUM! when her head touched the floor. She lost knowledge. I don't know how it ended, I hope she is ok. I still don't get the need of getting stoned by alcohol or drugs to have fun. Where is the fun in that? I felt sorry and sad for her.
I had a nice chat with a friend yesterday about our youth. It seems that in some countries (I am Italian and she is from Colombia), much of life happens in the kitchen. My happiest memories of when I was younger are linked to the kitchen. I grew up in my mom's kitchen. I don't care about eating and I am a disaster in cooking, but my dream of my ideal family is strongly bind to a kitchen. I remember when my sister and I were trying to learn how to make home made pasta under my mom's instruction (and that was really funny, because as a perfectionist I was always trying to make the best looking pasta, while the one of my sister was always thick and hard to cook), when we were playing with a lot of weird ingredients (including some real food, as well as soap or anything white that could have looked like flour) and I was trying to poison my sister giving her to eat our artistic food, or when my school friends were coming to visit me to spend a lot of time in the kitchen again trying to create something.
The kitchen was the place to talk, to create, to laugh. I always loved to see my mom cooking, to see how from nothing she could make a pantagruelic meal. And I remember myself sitting on one of the kitchen furniture (being the table or whatever other thing) talking to her while she was cooking. The charm of the kitchen for me is linked to the social life happening in the kitchen. I like to smell the food (except cabbage I have to say), I like to look at it, I like the warm feeling of the kitchen. I remember that one of the first times I felt lonely abroad was when I walked by a house in Venezuela and I saw everyone in the kitchen, setting the table, cooking, laughing. I felt immediately home sick.
So, when yesterday I was talking to this friend of mine, recalling happy memories, we both tought of how nice it would be to have a nice kitchen with a large table, where family and friends can sit and talk and eat and laugh. A place where everyone could feel welcomed. If I will ever have kids, and if I will live with someone, I think that exactly this would be the reason to push me to learn how to cook and cook more. To take care of them, to make them feel home, to make them feel the joy of such an environment like the one I had when I was young in my mom's kitchen. It is something wonderful, and I wish everyone could experience that. And this is probably why the only thing I like to cook are cakes/pies. Because you need to share them with the others, because cakes are something that most of the people like and enjoy, because cakes are immediately associated with something joyful, party-like even if there is no a special occasion. I made a lot of cakes when I was in Germany and a bit also when I was in the USA, but here I didn't yet. I don't even have a proper oven and I don't know with whom to share them yet....
PS. This post is for my mom and for all the happy memories I have related to her cooking in the kitchen.
PPS. I can't wait to be home for Christmas. One of the more recent memories I have in my head now is my mom making waffles and my grandmother trying that strange food-creature.
Friday, November 14, 2008
weird scientists, weird food
France, morningThe more I know about scientists and scientist lives, the more I think that some of them are really weird. Take Newton for example, he was apparently extremely aggressive and violent. A genius, no doubt about that, but also with some human interaction problem.
And then to come to our days I lately met a guy, a biology student who does not shower often to save the water for the planet (why not taking a quick shower instead and avoid wasting but also avoid to stink?) and does not flush the toilet after going to the bathroom for the same reason (save water). I personally think that all this is quite disgusting and even if I am a scientist there is a limit of decency that suggests me to flush the toilet after using it and shower (but about the shower, I already wrote another entry on this blog).
And then I found out that some scientists like to try "exotic" food (and some of them even think that this food is tasty) as mealworms (in the picture above) or locusts. The recipe to eat mealworms is to deep fry them. For the locusts, it is suggested to boil them and then put them in the oven with a bit of honey. I have to admit that I tried them and while the mealworms taste of nothing to me, the locusts are not too bad. But I would not eat them normally...but I wanted to try them.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
book
France, afternoon
I finally received a book I ordered a bit more than a week ago. The title is "The scientific 100. A ranking of the most influential scientists, past and present".
I am looking forward to read it. It is about the life of 100 representatives of different scientific fields and some scientist really had a weird life...so I am curious!
I finally received a book I ordered a bit more than a week ago. The title is "The scientific 100. A ranking of the most influential scientists, past and present".
I am looking forward to read it. It is about the life of 100 representatives of different scientific fields and some scientist really had a weird life...so I am curious!
may be or may be not
France, lunch time
I can't be happy too soon. I can start to jump of joy already now....but let's say that if I would find some money here where I work now to top a grant to go to California, I could spend a month working in San Francisco next year...........and that would be SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to cross my finger hoping to find some money from here!!!
I really need some good news!
I can't be happy too soon. I can start to jump of joy already now....but let's say that if I would find some money here where I work now to top a grant to go to California, I could spend a month working in San Francisco next year...........and that would be SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to cross my finger hoping to find some money from here!!!
I really need some good news!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
update on my allergic reaction
Just a quick update. I think my body is trying to eliminate the poisonous substances (maybe that includes the stress too)...the results is that even if my face is not swollen anymore, my shoulders and back now are full of little red spots...so much that when yesterday I went to a shop to try a dress and I saw it, I got scared and disgusted at the same time.
But it looks like it is slowly getting better.
I didn't buy the dress.
Not because of the red zits that I saw on myself, but because the dress was not looking too good on me.
This morning, my face looks like a rough surface, with a lot of under-skin pimples. But nothing red on my face anymore.
The neck seems ok.
But the whole thing looked quite scary.....
But it looks like it is slowly getting better.
I didn't buy the dress.
Not because of the red zits that I saw on myself, but because the dress was not looking too good on me.
This morning, my face looks like a rough surface, with a lot of under-skin pimples. But nothing red on my face anymore.
The neck seems ok.
But the whole thing looked quite scary.....
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
explosion
Lunch time
Yesterday. I stopped to a pharmacy to get some bromelain (the active principle of pineapple) for an inflammation. I don't like to take medications if I can avoid it (and I already had more than two weeks of two different kind of antibiotics in my body), so since back in Italy my medical doctor prescribed me some bromelain for light inflammation, I thought I could use that. I asked to the pharmacist if the package she gave me contained 100% natural bromelain, no chemicals or anything else.
Her answer was:" no, no completely natural, no chemicals, only bromelain"
Me: " are you sure?"
"Yes"
And I bought it. I trusted her. I got home, had dinner and took one pill. In less than 5 minutes the left side of my face felt like it was close to explode. I got a painful, uncomfortable rush everywhere on my face, my neck and my shoulder and then of course I panicked. Apparently, the product she gave me provoqued an alergic reaction. A quite bad one. It took me hours to feel good again, trying to not scretch my face, which was hitching and burning (beside looking quite awful).
Result: I trew away the bromelain package (which was not even as cheap as in Italy), after finding out that of course, it was not only 100% bromelain (stupid me to not check that before). I keep the light inflammation till it will go away by itself and I try to avoid as much as I can to take any medication.
Lesson: if you know that you are sensitive to a lot of things and with the tendency to have skin rushes as soon as your body doesn't like something, don't trust anyone who wants to sell you something, not even a pharmacist with a degree...............
Now my face is fortunately ok again.
Yesterday. I stopped to a pharmacy to get some bromelain (the active principle of pineapple) for an inflammation. I don't like to take medications if I can avoid it (and I already had more than two weeks of two different kind of antibiotics in my body), so since back in Italy my medical doctor prescribed me some bromelain for light inflammation, I thought I could use that. I asked to the pharmacist if the package she gave me contained 100% natural bromelain, no chemicals or anything else.
Her answer was:" no, no completely natural, no chemicals, only bromelain"
Me: " are you sure?"
"Yes"
And I bought it. I trusted her. I got home, had dinner and took one pill. In less than 5 minutes the left side of my face felt like it was close to explode. I got a painful, uncomfortable rush everywhere on my face, my neck and my shoulder and then of course I panicked. Apparently, the product she gave me provoqued an alergic reaction. A quite bad one. It took me hours to feel good again, trying to not scretch my face, which was hitching and burning (beside looking quite awful).
Result: I trew away the bromelain package (which was not even as cheap as in Italy), after finding out that of course, it was not only 100% bromelain (stupid me to not check that before). I keep the light inflammation till it will go away by itself and I try to avoid as much as I can to take any medication.
Lesson: if you know that you are sensitive to a lot of things and with the tendency to have skin rushes as soon as your body doesn't like something, don't trust anyone who wants to sell you something, not even a pharmacist with a degree...............
Now my face is fortunately ok again.
Monday, November 10, 2008
how was life before the computer era?
France, afternoon
I managed to spend my week end without starting the computer. And I suffered. I reached two conclusions. One, I am a workaholic and two, I am a computer/internet addicted.
Yesterday morning, since I woke up, I felt the "need" of checking my emails. I had the feeling that I was missing something, like that world would have been collapsing if I wouldn't have checked my emails. Of course, nothing like this happened. And this morning I found in my inbox 34 new emails of which none needed an immediate action.
But still, it is the feeling I get. I wake up thinking I have to work and I have to check my emails. I wonder how long it really takes to slow down and be able to not live in function of my work and not feel guilty for when I do not work. And beside the point of how long it takes, how can I actually get there and fight the addiction to work and to emails? and of course, when I manage to be away from work and computer, it is almost all what I can think about...
What was I doing before to start my PhD and make my life depending on work and internet?
How could I have got to the age of 25 without checking my emails every 5 minutes and without working any single hour?
Does someone else have this problem and especially, was someone else able to break this pattern? and how?
I managed to spend my week end without starting the computer. And I suffered. I reached two conclusions. One, I am a workaholic and two, I am a computer/internet addicted.
Yesterday morning, since I woke up, I felt the "need" of checking my emails. I had the feeling that I was missing something, like that world would have been collapsing if I wouldn't have checked my emails. Of course, nothing like this happened. And this morning I found in my inbox 34 new emails of which none needed an immediate action.
But still, it is the feeling I get. I wake up thinking I have to work and I have to check my emails. I wonder how long it really takes to slow down and be able to not live in function of my work and not feel guilty for when I do not work. And beside the point of how long it takes, how can I actually get there and fight the addiction to work and to emails? and of course, when I manage to be away from work and computer, it is almost all what I can think about...
What was I doing before to start my PhD and make my life depending on work and internet?
How could I have got to the age of 25 without checking my emails every 5 minutes and without working any single hour?
Does someone else have this problem and especially, was someone else able to break this pattern? and how?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
early morning
France, morning
Last night I couldn't sleep that well. Even if I had a lovely evening, once I got back home, I got into the working mood and I couldn't find a way to think about something else. Thus, I couldn't sleep. This morning I woke up really early (6.15 am). I like to sleep in and then relax in bed for a bit.
But this morning, I woke up, had a shower, breakfast and then out. There were not too many people outside yet and the day was promising. A bit cold, but carrying the promise of being a nice sunny day. There were a few people running and everything was going really slow and it feels like I was watching a movie in slow motion. I saw the sunrise and I liked it. I, for a moment, just enjoyed the moment, slowly. It is saturday today and I decided that I will not work this week end. My work is ruining my health. I don't sleep and I have different small annoying health problems every single day, from skin rush to flu. And I am sure, this has something to do with the lack of sleep and especially the too much stress.
So, this morning I slowed down. And I want to keep doing that for at least all this week end. Of course, when I saw those few people running in the morning, I thought that the early morning is so nice, when not too many people are outside and everything looks slow and special that I promised to myself to go running in the morning, at least some mornings, starting next week.
I already know that I can't make it, I am not a morning person, I am more of a howl, but I still like the idea. And maybe once, if I will wake up as early as today, I could even do it.
Have a good, slow, enjoyable week end everyone!
PS. To not have the temptation to just "do something" or "finish something" for work, I will make sure to spend as less time as possible in front of my computer this week end....
Last night I couldn't sleep that well. Even if I had a lovely evening, once I got back home, I got into the working mood and I couldn't find a way to think about something else. Thus, I couldn't sleep. This morning I woke up really early (6.15 am). I like to sleep in and then relax in bed for a bit.
But this morning, I woke up, had a shower, breakfast and then out. There were not too many people outside yet and the day was promising. A bit cold, but carrying the promise of being a nice sunny day. There were a few people running and everything was going really slow and it feels like I was watching a movie in slow motion. I saw the sunrise and I liked it. I, for a moment, just enjoyed the moment, slowly. It is saturday today and I decided that I will not work this week end. My work is ruining my health. I don't sleep and I have different small annoying health problems every single day, from skin rush to flu. And I am sure, this has something to do with the lack of sleep and especially the too much stress.
So, this morning I slowed down. And I want to keep doing that for at least all this week end. Of course, when I saw those few people running in the morning, I thought that the early morning is so nice, when not too many people are outside and everything looks slow and special that I promised to myself to go running in the morning, at least some mornings, starting next week.
I already know that I can't make it, I am not a morning person, I am more of a howl, but I still like the idea. And maybe once, if I will wake up as early as today, I could even do it.
Have a good, slow, enjoyable week end everyone!
PS. To not have the temptation to just "do something" or "finish something" for work, I will make sure to spend as less time as possible in front of my computer this week end....
Friday, November 7, 2008
couch and surf
France, night
I am smiling! I am seriously smiling! After many "down" post, I thought that it was fair to just write something positive too and since I just spent a really nice evening out with a lot of new people met through internet ((!!!!!!! for my opinion about meeting people trough internet!!!!), but I still have some prejudice about dating through internet I have to admit), I felt I have to post this news here.
I especially met three nice girls (plus the one of yesterday, so they are now four) who asked me to do things together, meet for a coffee, tea, go to see movies together....it was so nice! it was also a good training, because we all tried to speak French since we are in France. It was definitively a good evening and a good experience!
From now on every nice person I will meet in this way I feel I have to keep thanking La Femme for her advice.
PS. I also decided, this week end no work for me!
I am smiling! I am seriously smiling! After many "down" post, I thought that it was fair to just write something positive too and since I just spent a really nice evening out with a lot of new people met through internet ((!!!!!!! for my opinion about meeting people trough internet!!!!), but I still have some prejudice about dating through internet I have to admit), I felt I have to post this news here.
I especially met three nice girls (plus the one of yesterday, so they are now four) who asked me to do things together, meet for a coffee, tea, go to see movies together....it was so nice! it was also a good training, because we all tried to speak French since we are in France. It was definitively a good evening and a good experience!
From now on every nice person I will meet in this way I feel I have to keep thanking La Femme for her advice.
PS. I also decided, this week end no work for me!
Here we go again
Francia, morning
I am not sure if Berlusconi is a real clown or if he likes to play that role. I am not sure on how to interpret the joke he made about Obama (he is handsome, young and tan), but in any case, today the Italian newspaper "Il Corriere della Sera" published a beautiful summary of all the really smart and for sure extremely diplomatic actions of the "Cavaliere". I am sorry that it is in Italian. I suggest that you use the google translator to translate it (and if you think that maybe google tranlsated something in a bad way, you may want to consider the fact that instead of a bad translation it just reflects what really happened).
In Italian we would say "ma c'e' o ci fa?"
Meaning "is he really like that or does he just act like that"?
PS. In Italy we all like to joke a lot. True. But this does not mean that we all want to be represented by a clown.
PPS. Berlusconi sometimes should think about the Italian people living abroad and to how difficult it can be for us to explain why he acts like this, like if he just can't take anything serious. I am sure he would have been a great tv comedian.
I am not sure if Berlusconi is a real clown or if he likes to play that role. I am not sure on how to interpret the joke he made about Obama (he is handsome, young and tan), but in any case, today the Italian newspaper "Il Corriere della Sera" published a beautiful summary of all the really smart and for sure extremely diplomatic actions of the "Cavaliere". I am sorry that it is in Italian. I suggest that you use the google translator to translate it (and if you think that maybe google tranlsated something in a bad way, you may want to consider the fact that instead of a bad translation it just reflects what really happened).
In Italian we would say "ma c'e' o ci fa?"
Meaning "is he really like that or does he just act like that"?
PS. In Italy we all like to joke a lot. True. But this does not mean that we all want to be represented by a clown.
PPS. Berlusconi sometimes should think about the Italian people living abroad and to how difficult it can be for us to explain why he acts like this, like if he just can't take anything serious. I am sure he would have been a great tv comedian.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
meeting people through internet...why not?
France, night
I am happy. It is 11.33 pm and I am happy. I laughed together with a complete stranger, we talked about our trips around the world, about her life, my life, the animals I would like to have in my apartment once I would have an apartment for longer than a year, about things we like, about weird cultural habits.
Can I say it? It was just nice and refreshing. I am also always so stressed about inviting people to my place because it is really small and I am a control freak, so I always fear that something would be not in order...but this evening, we went to a cafe and then because the cafe was closing, she came to my place. And we drank tea, eat cookies and we talked more. And yes, my apartment was a mess and I even have the laundry hanging in the middle of my small living room. And still, it was nice. Only one negative thing....my apartment was icy cold, so the poor girl kept the jacket on, even if I had the heat on....
She just left. We will meet again tomorrow with other people. I don't know if we will keep going out together, I hope yes (unfortunately she will leave already in December), but for sure, I enjoyed this evening. And I needed. I left work really down. And now, I am smiling. And I resisted to check an email I got from my ex-boss. I don't need to stress myself out now....
So, two things...maybe I should stop being so negative about meeting people through internet.
And second, THANKS to LA FEMME for suggesting me to register with CS!!!
I am happy. It is 11.33 pm and I am happy. I laughed together with a complete stranger, we talked about our trips around the world, about her life, my life, the animals I would like to have in my apartment once I would have an apartment for longer than a year, about things we like, about weird cultural habits.
Can I say it? It was just nice and refreshing. I am also always so stressed about inviting people to my place because it is really small and I am a control freak, so I always fear that something would be not in order...but this evening, we went to a cafe and then because the cafe was closing, she came to my place. And we drank tea, eat cookies and we talked more. And yes, my apartment was a mess and I even have the laundry hanging in the middle of my small living room. And still, it was nice. Only one negative thing....my apartment was icy cold, so the poor girl kept the jacket on, even if I had the heat on....
She just left. We will meet again tomorrow with other people. I don't know if we will keep going out together, I hope yes (unfortunately she will leave already in December), but for sure, I enjoyed this evening. And I needed. I left work really down. And now, I am smiling. And I resisted to check an email I got from my ex-boss. I don't need to stress myself out now....
So, two things...maybe I should stop being so negative about meeting people through internet.
And second, THANKS to LA FEMME for suggesting me to register with CS!!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
feels like a blind date
France, evening
I know, I wrote a few days ago that I will be blogging less and spend more time away from my computer, checking emails and so on. I am getting there. Slowly, but I am getting there. First, since next tuesday is holidays here, I will take a long week end away from work. Second, but not related to the first point, I hope it is going to stop to rain that I have the bathroom wall totally wet, I had to leave my bike at work, and it is generally since saturday that it continuously rains cats and dogs.
Beside this, through internet (I know, it is not something I would do.....but what can I do if I really need to make more friends???) I contacted some foreigners who live here and tomorrow I will meet a girl for a drink after work. My first meeting with her. We just exchanged a few emails and she seems nice....so now I am nervous. I want so much to have some friends here, people with whom to do things when we want to, someone nice to talk to, to have fun with, that I am totally nervous...thinking and if she doesn't like me? and if she thinks I am boring? and if I think she is boring? and if we both get bored after two minutes???
It feels like being on a blind date...not that I know how a blind date feels since I never had one....
My friends are people I grew up with, I worked with, I did sport with, something....my friends are someone with whom I had something in common as a start. The common point with this person is that we are both foreigners in France wanting to make friends here....I wonder, can this be a good enough starting point? at least the good part of it is that I don't have to worry about what to wear and how to look since it is not a date....this already takes some stress away from me...
Wish me good luck!
PS. I can't imagine how nervous I will be the day that I will start to date again....
PPS. On friday evening I will have a general meeting with all (or at least the ones who will attend to the meeting) these foreigners...for now there are 20 people registered. Wish me good luck again!!!
I know, I wrote a few days ago that I will be blogging less and spend more time away from my computer, checking emails and so on. I am getting there. Slowly, but I am getting there. First, since next tuesday is holidays here, I will take a long week end away from work. Second, but not related to the first point, I hope it is going to stop to rain that I have the bathroom wall totally wet, I had to leave my bike at work, and it is generally since saturday that it continuously rains cats and dogs.
Beside this, through internet (I know, it is not something I would do.....but what can I do if I really need to make more friends???) I contacted some foreigners who live here and tomorrow I will meet a girl for a drink after work. My first meeting with her. We just exchanged a few emails and she seems nice....so now I am nervous. I want so much to have some friends here, people with whom to do things when we want to, someone nice to talk to, to have fun with, that I am totally nervous...thinking and if she doesn't like me? and if she thinks I am boring? and if I think she is boring? and if we both get bored after two minutes???
It feels like being on a blind date...not that I know how a blind date feels since I never had one....
My friends are people I grew up with, I worked with, I did sport with, something....my friends are someone with whom I had something in common as a start. The common point with this person is that we are both foreigners in France wanting to make friends here....I wonder, can this be a good enough starting point? at least the good part of it is that I don't have to worry about what to wear and how to look since it is not a date....this already takes some stress away from me...
Wish me good luck!
PS. I can't imagine how nervous I will be the day that I will start to date again....
PPS. On friday evening I will have a general meeting with all (or at least the ones who will attend to the meeting) these foreigners...for now there are 20 people registered. Wish me good luck again!!!
and the winner is............
France, morning
He made it!!!! He made it!!!! and at the end Obama won!!! It is a sign that people, especially the Americans who voted him, are ready for a change!
We needed a change. I hoped that this day would come, but I feared that at the end we would have an unpleasant wake up, like when Bush got elected the first time. But no, he got elected!!! I hope that you are all partying out there in the USA....As Piccola wrote, this is one of these moments in which an American should be proud of his/her country!!!
And of course, an article about the position of the new president in terms of science and technology.
He made it!!!! He made it!!!! and at the end Obama won!!! It is a sign that people, especially the Americans who voted him, are ready for a change!
We needed a change. I hoped that this day would come, but I feared that at the end we would have an unpleasant wake up, like when Bush got elected the first time. But no, he got elected!!! I hope that you are all partying out there in the USA....As Piccola wrote, this is one of these moments in which an American should be proud of his/her country!!!
And of course, an article about the position of the new president in terms of science and technology.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
change of scenario
France, morning
I am at work, with no desire of doing anything. After being told that I am ugly the other day, now my ex-boss decided to keep beating me up saying that my written English is horrible, wondering how I can have gotten a PhD and generally treating me like an idiot.
I think that this is the right moment to take a break. A break from emails, from internet, from blogging, for bad things, from sadness, from all the people who strongly try to make me feel miserable (which is not that difficult considering my not-self confidence)...So, I think I will be not blogging too much in the next days and I am also thinking of taking some days of holidays.
Beside, I am sick again with a flu :-(
I am at work, with no desire of doing anything. After being told that I am ugly the other day, now my ex-boss decided to keep beating me up saying that my written English is horrible, wondering how I can have gotten a PhD and generally treating me like an idiot.
I think that this is the right moment to take a break. A break from emails, from internet, from blogging, for bad things, from sadness, from all the people who strongly try to make me feel miserable (which is not that difficult considering my not-self confidence)...So, I think I will be not blogging too much in the next days and I am also thinking of taking some days of holidays.
Beside, I am sick again with a flu :-(
Sunday, November 2, 2008
If you want to laugh with Sarah Palin and "Sarkozy"
France, evening
This is funny! At the end of the video you can see other past victims of this "duo"
This is funny! At the end of the video you can see other past victims of this "duo"
cooking
France, evening
Why when I cook, I cook like if I would have at least 5 people over for dinner? I just made something quick in the wok and it was so much (and of course, as any good kid, I don't leave anything in my plate) that now I am close to explode....not only I am a really bad cooker, but when I do cook something that it may be good, I make so much of it that by the time I finish it all, I have a nausea!!!!
I am such a disaster in the kitchen!!!
Why when I cook, I cook like if I would have at least 5 people over for dinner? I just made something quick in the wok and it was so much (and of course, as any good kid, I don't leave anything in my plate) that now I am close to explode....not only I am a really bad cooker, but when I do cook something that it may be good, I make so much of it that by the time I finish it all, I have a nausea!!!!
I am such a disaster in the kitchen!!!
sunday
France, lunch time
Horrible weather outside and I am inside my apartment working. It doesn't even look like it is a sunday. I need a break. I need some holidays. I hope to be done soon with this stupid paper I have to write and to be able to take the deserved break. Then the other coauthors will fight among themselves, since it is quite hard to make everyone happy.
The weather is so awful.....Now I would love to not be so lonely and enjoy the outside rain and wind just being inside a warm place drinking a tea and chatting with a friend or even better a boyfriend :-) ... I think I will hit the gym later, if the wind doesn't flew my away. I can't believe this weather...I wanted to put a link to the live webcam so that who read here can have an idea of this amazing weather, but of course the webcam is not working. Maybe it flew away too with the wind....
PS. can I be scared of this weather even if I am not a child anymore??? it looks really really bad...I hope that the internet connection and the phone will keep working even with this bad weather. I don't think I ever seen anything like this. Maybe I should switch the computer off and just stay inside and read and wait for the weather to possibly improve.
Horrible weather outside and I am inside my apartment working. It doesn't even look like it is a sunday. I need a break. I need some holidays. I hope to be done soon with this stupid paper I have to write and to be able to take the deserved break. Then the other coauthors will fight among themselves, since it is quite hard to make everyone happy.
The weather is so awful.....Now I would love to not be so lonely and enjoy the outside rain and wind just being inside a warm place drinking a tea and chatting with a friend or even better a boyfriend :-) ... I think I will hit the gym later, if the wind doesn't flew my away. I can't believe this weather...I wanted to put a link to the live webcam so that who read here can have an idea of this amazing weather, but of course the webcam is not working. Maybe it flew away too with the wind....
PS. can I be scared of this weather even if I am not a child anymore??? it looks really really bad...I hope that the internet connection and the phone will keep working even with this bad weather. I don't think I ever seen anything like this. Maybe I should switch the computer off and just stay inside and read and wait for the weather to possibly improve.
comics Lucca 2008
France, morningI survived to the night and so did my apartment. I didn't find water in the bathroom, so fortunately the rain didn't pass the walls yet. Now we have a 51 km/h wind. Yesterday was "only" 40 km/h. It may be that if a child or a cat or something light go out is going to flew away.
My mom just sent me some funny picture of the comics in Lucca. Every year, around this time, in Lucca there is a big festival for the Comics. I am not sure if it is the larger in Europe, but it is a pretty big event and it is extremely cool. People are dressed like characters from the comics and then there is a parade, show, comics to
buy (especially the really old 
ones), to sell. It is cool. The costumes they wear are amazing! so well done! There are people coming from all Italy and Europe to see the event. In terms of comics, I am addicted to Calvin & Hobbes.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
childish
France, night
Call me childish, but tonight I couldn't handle to go out with my friend after her call this morning. So, I stayed home, writing a letter to a friend, reading, eating, watching some episodes of the 5th season of sex and the city, thinking, reading some more, waiting for the big thunderstorm (which seems to just start) and then in a bit going to bed.
Tomorrow is another day and I will see how I feel. For sure, unfortunately, I have to work, which doesn't make me jumping of joy....and for the rest, we will see. One thing at the time. I really miss my old friends. Yes, sometimes they disappoint me, even a lot sometimes. And sometimes, I disappoint them. But my old friends are still part of my life for a reason. They wouldn't hurt me to make themselves feeling better and with them, I can just be myself...and it feels great. I miss them.
PS. Not related to this post. My mum told me today that the new movie with Elio Germano is out. I want to see it!!! I doubt that it will be shown here....I can't wait to be in Italy over Christmas and watch all the Italian movies (read especially all the ones with Elio Germano) I missed.
PPS. Today I was close to buy the movie with John Malkovich about Klimt. It was just too expensive, so I left it there, but I am going to watch it soon. It is supposed to be a good movie (not really according to the movie database...)! Speaking about hot men!!!
Call me childish, but tonight I couldn't handle to go out with my friend after her call this morning. So, I stayed home, writing a letter to a friend, reading, eating, watching some episodes of the 5th season of sex and the city, thinking, reading some more, waiting for the big thunderstorm (which seems to just start) and then in a bit going to bed.
Tomorrow is another day and I will see how I feel. For sure, unfortunately, I have to work, which doesn't make me jumping of joy....and for the rest, we will see. One thing at the time. I really miss my old friends. Yes, sometimes they disappoint me, even a lot sometimes. And sometimes, I disappoint them. But my old friends are still part of my life for a reason. They wouldn't hurt me to make themselves feeling better and with them, I can just be myself...and it feels great. I miss them.
PS. Not related to this post. My mum told me today that the new movie with Elio Germano is out. I want to see it!!! I doubt that it will be shown here....I can't wait to be in Italy over Christmas and watch all the Italian movies (read especially all the ones with Elio Germano) I missed.
PPS. Today I was close to buy the movie with John Malkovich about Klimt. It was just too expensive, so I left it there, but I am going to watch it soon. It is supposed to be a good movie (not really according to the movie database...)! Speaking about hot men!!!
orange alarm
France, afternoon
I just came back from shopping and because my mood was a bit mmmmmm (meaning not that good), I bought a lot of "schifezze" (meaning not really healthy things), which may be not that good for my organism, but for sure they are good for my mood....as I can't improve my mood indulging in chocolate, because I don't like it, I decided to go for some chinese stuff, including the crab chips!!! :-) so good and so unhealthy!!!
I have been told that today we have here an orange alarm, meaning that this wind and the bad weather is nothing and that tonight we will have even stronger wind and a thunderstorm. The "orange" risk level means that it is suggested to not go outside tonight. I hope that my apartment will survive to it and that I will not have water dropping in the bathroom from the walls...If I will be not blogging tomorrow, you will know why then...
I just came back from shopping and because my mood was a bit mmmmmm (meaning not that good), I bought a lot of "schifezze" (meaning not really healthy things), which may be not that good for my organism, but for sure they are good for my mood....as I can't improve my mood indulging in chocolate, because I don't like it, I decided to go for some chinese stuff, including the crab chips!!! :-) so good and so unhealthy!!!
I have been told that today we have here an orange alarm, meaning that this wind and the bad weather is nothing and that tonight we will have even stronger wind and a thunderstorm. The "orange" risk level means that it is suggested to not go outside tonight. I hope that my apartment will survive to it and that I will not have water dropping in the bathroom from the walls...If I will be not blogging tomorrow, you will know why then...
not my day
France, lunch time
After being told by a friend that someone told her how ugly I am, now I saw that the yellow humid spot that I found last week in the bathroom became with the late rain and the strong wind an entire yellowish humid wall (the wall is supposed to be white). I wrote again an email to the agency that rent me the apartment and I hope they will send me someone sooner than later. When I went there last week they asked me to sign an official declaration and they told me that they would have sent someone as soon as possible. This was last wednseday. I didn't see anyone yet. And I really hope that someone will come because it looks like it is getting just worse and worse.
It is so annoying...
After being told by a friend that someone told her how ugly I am, now I saw that the yellow humid spot that I found last week in the bathroom became with the late rain and the strong wind an entire yellowish humid wall (the wall is supposed to be white). I wrote again an email to the agency that rent me the apartment and I hope they will send me someone sooner than later. When I went there last week they asked me to sign an official declaration and they told me that they would have sent someone as soon as possible. This was last wednseday. I didn't see anyone yet. And I really hope that someone will come because it looks like it is getting just worse and worse.
It is so annoying...
ugly first thing in the morning
France, morning
...well I just got a phone call from almost the only friend I have here. This morning, she went to the cafe' where we went last week. She was talking about me with the waiters there and they told her that I passed by the other day (I was on my way to the gym), that I said "bonjour" (of course, I think that saying "hi" is the minimum) and that I am ugly. Since she was not sure that she understood well, they said that I am ugly in French and in Spanish, just to be 100% certain that she got the point.
This is already not extremely nice, but it is their opinion. What hurts me is that she called me just now, she told me the story and she remarked the fact of how many times these guys repeated on how ugly I am (and so she needed to repeat it to me too a few times, to be sure I know how ugly I am probably or to be sure that I know that people think I am ugly).
Nice, isn't it?
Everyone is allowed to have its own opinion of course, but someone, a friend tells you that you are ugly as a first thing (she is the first person I talked to this morning) on saturday morning...bah...I was speechless. Why would you do that? why would you say something that can be hurtful to a friend? Maybe I have a weird sense of humor, but if it was supposed to be funny, it was not!
...well I just got a phone call from almost the only friend I have here. This morning, she went to the cafe' where we went last week. She was talking about me with the waiters there and they told her that I passed by the other day (I was on my way to the gym), that I said "bonjour" (of course, I think that saying "hi" is the minimum) and that I am ugly. Since she was not sure that she understood well, they said that I am ugly in French and in Spanish, just to be 100% certain that she got the point.
This is already not extremely nice, but it is their opinion. What hurts me is that she called me just now, she told me the story and she remarked the fact of how many times these guys repeated on how ugly I am (and so she needed to repeat it to me too a few times, to be sure I know how ugly I am probably or to be sure that I know that people think I am ugly).
Nice, isn't it?
Everyone is allowed to have its own opinion of course, but someone, a friend tells you that you are ugly as a first thing (she is the first person I talked to this morning) on saturday morning...bah...I was speechless. Why would you do that? why would you say something that can be hurtful to a friend? Maybe I have a weird sense of humor, but if it was supposed to be funny, it was not!
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