Sunday, September 7, 2008

Is there anybody out there?

France, night

I just saw an episode of Sex and the City. The one in which for the second time Carrie breaks up with Big. Maybe it was not the best day to see that episode. Oh, well.....

It is since yesterday that I have this thing in my head, this thing about the online dating. There are a lot of reasons for which I wouldn't try to find a boyfriend using an online dating webserver. But not everyone is like me. I should say fortunately, otherwise probably the human kind would risk to go extinct. On the other hand, we are too many anyway and so maybe a bit more selection wouldn't be bad. But I am not planning to write an entry about partner selection, but more about the different ways to find a partner.

Online dating is one of them, and according to a lot of people, a successful one. I would honestly feel weird in putting an adv saying that I am looking for a boyfriend on internet. First, wrong people can find it. Second, it doesn't matter how much time I spend at my computer, I still think that certain kind of things should have little to do with technology. I am more the romantic way. Of course, the hunting range is limited if I have to base my search on only the people I meet. First, I have to like the person, then I have to get the chance to meet this person casually at least some times and then I have to hope that this person would show some interest on me and invite me out. It is not hard to see why till you go to school and you have many social activities all this can work pretty well, but once you reach my age or older, and your social interactions are at the place where you work, maybe at the gym or at some religious circle, the above three points don't come so naturally anymore. This is why a lot of people prefer to help the luck and put an adv on some online dating system.

I am not here to judge anyone, I just think that it wouldn't work for me. I basically have to know someone really well even before starting to date this person. So, I guess that if I would meet someone trough the online dating, this person would get tired of me and pass to the next one on his online list. Online dating is for meeting a lot of people in the shorter time as possible, hoping to find the right one. I can go on months or years without finding anyone barely interesting. So, the strategy is completely the opposite. Second point that would make me thinking a lot before to put an adv on an online dating system is that it would take away all the romance. Yeah, meeting a future boyfriend at work is not that much more romantic, but it is still better than by using the computer. When you physically meet someone you found online, the first time you meet, you know why you both do that. You hope to find out that you like each other a lot and live together happily ever after. When you randomly meet someone, except in a few cases, you don't have in mind "oh yeah this can be the one". Or at least, I don't. So, I can just be myself, without pretending anything. Right, so the second point. Online dating takes away a lot of spontaneity. It would look to me like I am looking at different products on a supermarket shelf trying to pick the most promising one.

Some of my family members already tells me that I will remain single (actually they use the word spinster more than single), so my strategy is probably not that successful. And I know people who are actually extremely happy with the person they met thanks to the online dating. But I am just not like that. I know it is hard to meet interesting people. And that it gets harder and harder the older you get. But if there is anybody right for me out there, I hope I will find him without needing the help of a computer.

Now, I am going to watch the movie "you've got mail". Just to remain on the theme of this post.

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