small things

France, afternoon

My mood swings so much. Sometimes I think that when you take someone and you move him/her to a different place, then it is normal that this someone will feel lonely, lost and confuse, together with the excitement of knowing a new place and starting a new life. So, maybe the way I feel is also due to the fact that I keep moving continuously and I don't even have the minimal routine. Plus, I worry a lot about money because life is too expensive here.

But then today, suddenly, I enjoyed little things. I went to buy some bread and I met a colleague of mine with his kid first and then a friend of mine. We stopped in the middle of the road and chat for long time about this and that. That alone, made me feel more connected. I like to get out of my place and without planning anything meeting someone I know (especially if they are as friendly as these two people). Then I got back home, have a late breakfast and went out again for a walk. I was relaxed. And then it hit me. Why do I always make my life more complicate that it can be? In some masochistic way, it seems that if I don't have a bit of drama in my life, I am not living. Maybe because I grew up with a lot of familiar worries and always afraid of what it will happen next. But some days like today I wonder, why can't I just be able to enjoy little things and instill in my brain that life doesn't necessarily have to be difficult or painful?

PS. Yes, I am in a really thinking mood these days.