Friday, February 27, 2009

Face massage

France, morning

Instead of blogging, I should be working right now. But I have so many things to do today, that blogging a bit doesn't sound too bad....
Yesterday I went for a face and shoulder massage. 30 minutes, 25 euros. I decided that I needed a treat to myself, since I have been working so much lately and I feel really tired (and it is visible on my face). Well, it seems that massaging here corresponds to just caressing. So, I had 30 minutes of a woman caressing my face and putting a lot of oil on it. It was actually not that relaxing, with all that oil running everywhere...I like massaging my body with the oil...but so much on my face...not really...Anyway, I tried different people and different places here where to get a massage and I don't seem to find someone or a place that I really like. Finding someone good in giving massages is not so easy. I am thinking to hire a friend of mine who is great in massaging and bring her with me around the world...I am not sure I can afford it unfortunately....

This morning my face looks as tired as it was yesterday. Lately, I am always joking that the olandesino and Scott should pay me a botox to remove some of the wrinkles that I got for sure due to the stress related to them :-)
Too bad that I am so afraid of needles that I would never be able to get a botox...it seems so painful...
Ok, after this highly cultural and inspiring post I think I can start to work....

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

temptations

France, evening

I just came back from running. It was a relaxing slow run with two friends. We actually did a bit of run-walk-ran-walk. Anyway, I got back home with an incredible desire of eating something...so while I am preparing the vegetables, I also started to eat a bit of crab chips. I normally don't keep these things at home, because I am addicted to it. You see, I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I normally eat really healthy....but chips.....that is my temptation!!! and I am not good in resisting to it.....but I just saw how many calories there are in 28 grams of crab chips (158 cal)....I think I probably ate at least 3 times that amount....should I consider that my dinner? :-(

years later

France, morning

I am not a big fan of Berlusconi and I am not a big fan of Sarkozy. It happens that being Italian and living in France, I am interested in anything concerning these two countries. It also happens that Berlusconi and Sarkozy signed yesterday an agreement about the nuclear power plants.
My opinion? they are completely out of time. France has always been a big fan of nuclear power. But the nuclear power was the resource to invest on at the end of the 70', beginning of the 80', not now. Every country is investing on alternative energy resources, which I agree will not be able alone to replace the oil power, while Italy and France decided to invest on nuclear power plants.
As a scientist I think it is a mistake to invest in the nuclear now. First nuclear power plants produce a lot of energy, right but they are not without problem. Uraniun is not an infinite resource, as we are seen that oil is too. Radioactive products are difficult to remove from the environment and if the solution is to bury them underground or in the sea, this doesn't mean that we can forget about them. They are there and the time of decay of these radioactive substances is really long. Third, nuclear power plants consume a lot of the energy they produce too, so that the balance is not that positive as thought. Fourth, I am not sure who would like to live next to a nuclear power plant.
In a world that needs to re-discover a better way of living to no destroy all our resources, Italy and France are investing on nuclear. In Holland there are people paid to find and study alternative energy resources and I am sure that there are well paid jobs everywhere in this field, which I consider to be the field of the future. Italy and France need to go on the other way around. Not only they cut the funding to scientific research, so that anyone working in the Universities or research institutes in these two countries is wondering if next year they will still have a job, but also decide to invest on something which according to me is out of time.
Berlusconi even declared that we will have a "massive" amount of nuclear power plants in Italy....I wonder if he will put one of them next to his villa...at least that would be fair!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

the cat

France, afternoon

Today I stayed home to prepare for the job interview that I will have in a few weeks. The chances I get the job are not too many, so if I want to increase my possibilities I seriously have to do well at the interview...which is not easy...so many things to read and study and especially remember.

Anyway, I feel a bit like when I was preparing the exams during my University studies. All day home, except a few minutes walk outside, going back and forth from the desk to the fridge, eating a lot, trying to find some concentration, feeling stressed and excited at the same time....ah.....I am happy that I am not a student anymore.....

I just came back from a short walk and I got to think about how funny animals can be sometimes. There was a fancy mercedes parked on the street and a beautiful cat was sitting on top of it, basking in the sun. Because the sun soon moved, the cat decided that it was about time to move too and so if you would have been the cat, from where would you have tried to get down from the car?
I think the cat could have jumped directly from the car on the floor. But it looked like scared of the high.....it was on the edge of the top of the car looking down, like someone on the top of a cliff peering to see that little something kilometers away. Anyway, the cat tried to get down from the car using the lateral window....no, too slippery. Then the back window....not convincing....then it finally slide down from the front window...but really, it slide....it took to the cat some minutes to be able to touch the floor again....It was so funny to watch...it looked so lost....it was cute!
I love cats!

PS. I forgot....this week commemorates the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin!!!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

and the winner is............

France, morning

Tonight, Oscar night!!! of the movies selected for the Oscar, I saw only a few of them. Some of them still didn't make it to France....or they didn't make it to here anyway...

I saw anyway Slumdog Millionaire and I liked it a lot.
Too bad I don't have a tv, otherwise I would watch part of the Oscar night.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hair

France, evening

I just cut my hair a bit. Lately, maybe because I feel in a better mood, maybe because I am one step forward in my life (since I left a negative cyclic thing), I feel like changing also something on the outside. Well, first I need to see a dentist since I have a broken tooth. But this is not that visible. It is just only painful. Then I would like to remove my glasses. I am getting tired of them. So, I want to try contact lenses. But for this I have to see a doctor too. So, cutting my hair a bit is probably the easiest thing, since I don't like to change color.

Beside, I love the consistency of the hair and I love the fact that no matter how much I can mess up cutting them, they will soon grow back....

Friday, February 20, 2009

No more French for today please

France, evening

I am deadly tired. It is only 8.30pm and I could go to bed now. Actually, I could have gone to bed hours ago. Around 4 pm this afternoon my brain decided that for today it already took too much French and so it wouldn't be willing to speak French anymore for the rest of the day. This can be a source of problem if you have the preparation of a job interview with your current bosses who speak French to you and explain you how you can improve your work and do better at the interview in French.
I am feeling that my brain is saturated. Does it happen to others too? like you learn too much in one day or you get too many information that the brain goes click, done. Nothing enters in there anymore and nothing goes out. If you are still at work, discussing work, it can be a bit embarrassing. I hope that my brain will re-start properly tomorrow...it is like when your computer suddenly without warning shut down and you feel like "ok, all my data, my life is in there....what am I going to do now?". I felt like this today when my brain called for holidays. So, I just followed it. I left work and walk back home. I had the most disgusting dinner that it is possible to imagine (mashed potatoes from a box with ragu' sauce and salad...yeah, I feel ashamed for this...) and now I am going to read my book (if my brain can take this...)....

And finally tomorrow is WEEK END!!!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

full life

France, morning

This morning I woke up at 5.30am. A friend of mine who was visiting me had to catch a train early in the morning. I liked to walk around in the early morning, when it is still dark and the city starts to wake up (really slowly around here). One the way back I saw a beautiful sunshine.
One of the best thing here is the weather. It is simply fantastic.
In the last days I had this friend of mine visiting. Beside the fact that he was a great company and really easy going, he made me realize how much I like to live here. There are so many things to do, so many places to walk, a lot of nice and friendly people to talk to and with the right company everything is even better. He also came to work with me and everyone was friendly and the atmosphere nice, like if we were not only in a work environment, but also among friends.
I hope he enjoyed to spend some days here. I am pretty sure he liked here.
I don't know where I will go next, it will depend a lot on my working and private life, but for sure I will miss living here.
I guess life is really beautiful sometimes!

PS. I still didn't manage to get a vespa. They are so expensive here!!!
PPS. This friend of mine who just visited me defined me an "hopeless romantic" with commitment fear. I thought that it didn't sound very good....but at the end, I think it is true and so I think I like this definition for myself (and I am working on the commitment fear)!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

a nice evening

France, evening

Beside my worries, I actually had a very nice day, including a long walk along the river and some hours in the company of two girl friends. My evening was also very pleasant, with finally the second volume of the Millennium Trilogy (finally because I received it today!!!) and a movie that I liked a lot and made me laugh.

Now time for a bit of more reading and then sleep. Tomorrow I will have a full day, including work, a friend visiting me, a birthday party and the cleaning of my place.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

what is it going on?

France, evening

I have no idea what it is going on. I can't see my old post anymore. I can see them if I click on each topic or on the title of each post separately, ma when I go on view blog, I see only the later bar.....is someone is reading this post and checking my blog, could let me know if they see the older post on the main page of the view blog or not???

And if any of you has any advice concerning what it is going on, it is welcomed!

Nevermind...it magically reappeared...

Friday, February 13, 2009

San Valentine day

France, morning

Tomorrow is San Valentine...and today is friday, 13. But we are not superstitious, so we will still go out today and don't be scared that something bad could happen....right?

Anyway, tomorrow is San Valentine. And it is more than a week that I keep receiving emails about how to spend a wonderful San Valentine with your lover. I guess that if you are single, like me in this case, tomorrow is not about you. I have to try to gather my single girl friends (almost none) to prepare the contra attack (does this word exist in English?). I never cared about San Valentine while I had a boyfriend, it was a whatever day. But of course, now that I am single, it makes me realize that I am single.

So, in the view of my learning the positive thinking, I have to find some positive thoughts about being single, that can balance the fact that sometimes exactly being single makes me feel miserable....

- Better be single than with the wrong guy who makes you feel even worse than how you would feel by yourself.
- If you are single, you can indulge in all sort of body treatment before to go to bed without having to hear the complain of someone else who has to sleep with you covered in oil or sticky cream. So, your skin can be totally smooth.
- You don't need to adjust your daily schedule according to someone else time. Your time is only yours and your space is only your space.
- You can have a lot of time just to re-discover yourself and cultivate your interests.

Ok....I found 4 positive thoughts...any other suggestion??? in any case, be sure to have friends around, because if you are single for longtime then after a while you need some good friends to help you keep thinking positive.

About going to bed with any sort of body treatments. I read that G. Ritchie complained that Madonna was going to bed covered in a really expensive oil derived from the intestine of I don't know which kind of animal and then wrapped up in plastic. This to avoid the aging of her skin. Poor guy....

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

optimism

France, evening

I had lunch at 4.30 pm today (I guess my internal clock got confused due to the jet-lag) at the same place than yesterday with a chicken sandwich (a very good one). While eating I was reading a magazine and there was an interesting article about being optimist.

First, doing the relative test I found out that I am not as negative as I thought (meaning that probably out there, there are people who are even more negative and pessimistic than me...wow, poor them)...

Second, beside the things that I already know, such as that stress, depression, negativity decrease the capacity of your immune system to fight infections and diseases and so people who think negative have also higher tendency to get sick more often and die earlier (poor them/us twice, not only you live your life in a negative way, but you also have to read that probably you will die earlier than if you live your life in a more optimist way...suffer twice....), it was also written that depress/negative people attract more depress/negative people around them and that 50% of your being depress/negative depends on your parents (so it is inherited) and on the environment were you grow up. Basically, what it happens is that growing in an environment with people who always or often anyway think that tomorrow will not better than today and things will not be ok, transmits fear of the future and a general negative view of what it will happen tomorrow.

The positive point of the article was that we can learn to be more optimist. Now, I actually would like to see an experiment on seriously depressed people to see how willing they are to learn to be optimist if they don't believe in optimism in the first place. So, maybe we can learn or re-learn to be optimist if we are not really at the bottom of negativity and depression, otherwise I think it would be very hard.
In any way, apparently the first trick to became more optimist is to think about enjoying what we have now instead of projecting our expectations and desire in the future (I am a disaster in this, I actually live much more for the future than in the present). So "carpe diem". Which doesn't mean to not build things for the future, but to enjoy the present while planning the future.
Second trick is to build up a confidence than in one way or the other everything will be ok. And this is easier to say or to write than to do. I challenge any negative thinker to get to think from the hole of his negativity that "hey, everything will be ok, so don't be silly, stop worrying"...it doesn't work that well with me at least. When I am in my very negative mood, that's all what I see and I am concern about (mmmm I guess my thinking in a rather pessimistic way is already obvious from this post....).
Third trick watch funny movies that make you laugh, spend time with funny people, do things that you use to like.

Because I think I am mastering more and more the art of pessimism and negativity (but only for myself, I am really positive about other's people life and I always manage to cheer them up), I decided that every time I think of something in a negative way, I should try to find also a positive way to look at it and I should start to dance again in my apartment, since that normally cheers me up quickly.
This evening for example, I danced on some song of the last album of Madonna. And it worked! Let's see how it goes my learning process to the way of optimism....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Anger

France, evening

I am thinking that for my own health, it would be good if I just stop working and I hit the gym for a spinning session to release some bad energy.
I am angry. Madly angry. Pissed off actually. In a total bad mood. And I don't like anger and I don't like to be angry. Anger doesn't produce anything good most of the times and it affects me a lot. I hate being angry. And I hate even more being angry at someone, so most of the time I avoid to show it. The end result is that my anger eats myself inside out. I am not sure if it would be healthier if I would just have an anger explosion and I would say laud what makes me so angry, so that I would recognize it and possibly get over or if I should just wait that it will pass.

Gym sounds like the best solution. I really don't like anger...
The moon is amazing tonight! Absolutely beautiful.

I don't even have a good book to read to calm down, since I just finished the first book of the Millennium Trilogy (and I loved it) and I am waiting to get the second.

opera

France, afternoon

I am listening to the Madama Butterfly, from Puccini. There are some operas that are so beautiful and the music so touching that I get goose skin every time I listen to them. Because I was listening to the opera, I got to think about my beautiful opera dress. A dress that I got years ago exactly to go to see the opera Don Giovanni at the theater in Munich. A black long dress, with the corset in black velvet and the skirt in silk with velvet embroideries. I wish I could wear it more often. It is in Italy now, as it is not a dress that I would squeeze in a suitcase every time I move from one place to another. And here so far, I never went to the opera, even if there are two big opera theaters. Neither I went to see the opera in New York, even if I would have loved to see something at the Metropolitan. I still hope that one day I will be able to see something, maybe the Carmen in New York.
Getting back to my dress and the opera in Munich. It was such a nice week end that we spent there. We were three, all single at the time. The atmosphere at the teather was wonderful, we were all gloomy, we enjoyed the opera, we enjoyed Munich. It was so nice. There are simple little things that you share with some good friends that will stay in my mind forever and will make me smiling with tenderness every time I will think about them. The week end in Munich for the opera is one of them. Beside, it was also very funny as I am not able to walk on heels and so of course I had high heels under my beautiful elegant dress and of course as soon as I stepped outside the apartment door, I twisted my ankle and almost felt. Like in a movie, the olandesino who was next to me (and at that time was just a friend) caught me before I could touch the floor and ruin my beautiful dress.

If I think about it, I did a lot of cool things in my life so far. I saw a lot of places, met a lot of amazing and interesting people, learned a lot of things....mmm pretty cool, yes.... and I was thinking a few minutes ago that in my life what it matters most to me is the precious relationship I built with some of the members of my family and my close friends. I can consider myself lucky for the people I met in my life so far (of course, excluding a few very bad bad ones....)....

Monday, February 9, 2009

like a Christmas tree

France, evening

If there is one thing I really like of living in France is that you can always get a simple, great sandwich for lunch. Most of the times is of course full of butter, so I also most of the times need to ask to prepare a special sandwich for me without butter (and here the seller goes: "no butter??? then you want some creamy cheese"), without cheese ("no cheese? it will taste of nothing. Maybe you want me to add some mayo"), no mayo thanks, just with a bit of olive oil. You can see the disappointment and disgust in the seller eyes, but hey, I am Italian. I was born in olive oil!!! Plus, I like to eat plain things. In any case, when the quality of the food is good, plain things taste great! and this is the advantage of living in places like France, Italy, Greece. You just need a bit of good bread, some olive oil, a tomato and some ham or cheese if you can eat it and done. You have a great lunch!

So, today I got this good sandwich and since I went for lunch alone (I am still with jet-lag, so I had lunch out of a normal decent lunch time), I ate while reading a magazine. It was a gossip magazine, perfect to rest my mind from my thoughts about work. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were in there, obviously. Now, there was a picture of Angelina Jolie with all her kids (3 natural and 3 adopted if I remember well), but one who was with Brad. So Angelina Jolie was walking in the airport looking like a Christmas tree with kids hanging from every side. So, beside the fact that there is not too much need to have so many kids since we are already too many in the world, isn't a bit too much to have six kids to be sure to actually take a good care of each of them?

PS. I forgot to mention one thing. I left France more than a week ago and there was a big strike. The Universities and research institutes everywhere in France are still on strike. So, if you count the 52 days of holidays that these people have, add the National holidays (other about 10 days I guess), add a couple of hours each day of break to drink a coffee, and add to this all the days in which none work because of some strike, how many actual days are these people really working???

a bit of truth in music

France, lunch time

I was just listening to this song. I love the words of this song....so cool! sorry, it is in Italian....If I am not wrong, some of the songs of the movie Gomorra (which I haven't seen) were from Frankie Hi NRG. The words of his songs are great!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

news from the States about Lucca

France, evening

I forgot one thing. No three things actually. First, I had bagels in New Jersey. Good bagels!!! one with jam and one with soy cream cheese....so good!!!!
Second, as I am almost done reading the first volume of the Millennium Trilogy and I am looking forward to read the next ones, as soon as I could, I went to a book shop to buy the second volume of the Trilogy. And what did I find out? That while here (in Europe) the third and last volume of the Trilogy just got published in every possible language, in the USA they just published the first one, the second will be released in the next months and none is aware of when the third one will be printed....isn't that weird? I guess they want to prepare the market for it...but once it is translated in English for the UK, they could publish it also in the USA, right? At least, I would think so. But apparently no...so, I have to get it here....tomorrow....
Third, New Jersey local newspaper (local means the one for the part of New Jersey that faces Manhattan and it is on the other side of the Hudson river...this picture is a bit dark, but the lights are from Manhattan). What was one of the article published in there about???? Lucca and the ban on having new restaurants serving "ethnic" food....can you believe it??? I get to New Jersey and what do I end up reading about???? about Lucca and how close mind is the mayor of the city etc etc....If it was a strategy to make Lucca better known around the world, it may have worked, considering that even in New Jersey what happened in Lucca is worth it an article in the newspaper!!!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

loneliness

USA, evening

I got back to the same place where I have been living until December 2007. I got immediately sad as soon as I stepped here. So many memories, happy and not. Many anyway. And with some distance from the past, the bad memories don't seem that many anymore, while the good ones are the ones that I keep in my heart in a stronger and deeper way.

I am not sure if it was a great idea to come here. I came to take care of one of the closest person that I have in my life. Or at least, one of the closest person I thought to have in my life. But distance can change things a lot and you need to work to keep things the way they are, because with distance you are not anymore part of each other's life. So what it was back then one of the closest person I had, is now someone who looks at me as a foreigner. Someone who tries his best to make me smiling and cares about me, but that due to the past and to the distance also built a wall between us. And there is no a stronger feeling of loneliness for me than being with someone who used to be such a big part of me and used to make me feel so good and with whom I could just be myself and now instead makes me feel like I am a stranger, I am out of place and that he doesn't know what to do with me and feel uncomfortable.

It is so sad how thing sometimes change and not necessarily in the direction we want.