Some day is just too long

France, evening

A list of my day today. I feel like today lasted for at least a couple of days. Too full. Just too full. And it is not over.

Morning, biking in the direction of work. A car was badly parked so the driver of the car that was entering in the road where I was biking couldn't see who was coming. I was awake enough to avoid it. But it almost hit me. Almost, but not fortunately. After that, I thought it was my good day.

Got to work, started to work. For the last 5th days in a row (or more) I wrote an email to one of my friends to ask her if everything was ok, if something happened, since I didn't hear from her in a long time, she didn't answer to my emails nothing. I asked her to have lunch together, to go out, if she was ok. Nothing. Not a single word. This is the same person that a couple of weeks ago said that she only had two people who consider friends here, me and another guy. I thought, ok she may be busy. Today I saw her at the lunch place. I got a really bad feeling. She considered me really little, and she kept talking in a kind of an arrogant way, like I can't understand her day was more difficult, everything was more etc. I got disturbed. I know that she has a really high opinion of her work and of how good she is, and I think it is really good, but this doesn't mean to make other people feel less or that they can't understand or that what they have is less. I am sure that she didn't mean bad. But sometimes you can hurt someone even if you don't mean bad.
So, I got to a point in which I stopped to think that the only two people I knew here till a few weeks ago were this woman and the one who called me to say that someone said I was ugly! Can you believe that? The only two people I knew where two people who love to make me feel bad about myself and less than them (which is anyway not that difficult in general).

I digested this to move to the after lunch part of the day which consisted of three different meetings in French for a total of 3 hours and half. Meetings that were highly recomended and which I didn't enjoy, I didn't contribute and I got nothing out of it. I should have left the meetings.
The last meeting was actually me speaking. I spoke in French and I don't think I did bad. According to my boss (the main big boss) however, the results of my work so far are not that exciting...and even if it is not my fault, because the data are what they are and I did my best, he said that my results were kind of expected and so....what's new about it???

Plus, I am still fighting for my apartment. Still nothing has been repaired. Still the agency treats this as if it is something normal (a month is passed already since I had the infiltration). I can't take it any longer. The amount of stress this apartment caused me is incredible. If I could, I would change apartment now. And my rent is 450 euros for a place with a bathroom that falls apart. It is incredible. I had a lot of email exchange with the agency and a phone call and everything seems according to them, normal...Does the apartment fall apart? just sit and wait, maybe someone will come to repair something....maybe...

I would really need a strong hug now.
I am so tired of always having to fight my battles always alone.
I really need a hug.