decision

Lucca (Italy), morning

Yesterday I had a relaxing day. Or at least I tried to get some relax and it actually worked. With my mum, I went to the Tombolo Talasso, a spa near Castagneto Carducci basically on the beach, for a spa day. We spent there about 3-4 hours, just moving from one swimming pool to another, all with marine water at different temperatures. Then sauna, Turkish bath and hammam. I may not be crazy for buying shoes, or bags, but I am for sure crazy about whatever thing involves spending relaxing time in a spa, getting a massage or buying Body Shop products.
Anyway, my mood was still down when I got out of there, but at least in those 3-4 hours I just stopped to think all the time about my life and how trapped I feel in the current situations.
I realized in order what I miss now in my life: first, some peace. It is too long that I struggle for the same things over and over. I would like to have my mind clear again. Second, a social life. Friends to do something with, even if it is just going out to drink and talk. It seems that my friends from here don't have so many interests. Third, an income. I get really stressed if I have the feeling that the money in my bank account are getting less and less. I may be working at home on old projects, to finish them. And this is also, mainly in my interest, but it wouldn't be bad to have an income, even small. Fourth, some stability. Emotional in primis, but also in terms of life.
So, I should try to focus on things that I can fix and maybe the other will come after that. Today I will go job hunting. The problem is that in Lucca it is not easy to find part-time temporary job. The job market is not so active as in the USA for example. But I will try. And if I don't find anything by the time I have to leave for the field work (in two weeks), then when I will be back, I will probably move to somewhere else.