tragedies

USA, evening

Since this morning everyone comes to me to ask me if I heard the news, if my family is ok. The tragedy of the earthquake didn't happen near where my family lives. However, hundreds of people are not ok. Of course I am happy that my family is ok and nothing happened to them. However, tragedies are tragedies and they touch in the same way anyone who has the sensibility to recognize them as such. The tsunami in Indonesia, the numerous earthquakes, the cyclone that destroyed New Orleans and surrounding are all examples of natural disaster which cost the life of many many people. Again, I am happy that my family has not been touch by this disaster, I don't know what I would do if something would happen to them. But I am anyway touched by all these families who lost someone or many in the earthquake of last night in Abruzzo.

I just wanted to send a thought to them, even if it will not make their lives now any better. When these natural catastrophies happen, we should all stop one second to think how little and powerless we are, no matter how many cars or how much money we have or how important we are.
I know that it sounds bad, but when these things happen, my first thought is how lucky I am to not have been involved and that none of the people I love was there.

The real me

USA, night

I spent the day relaxing. I did work a bit this morning. I actually managed to finish something that was bothering me since long time, but mainly, I relaxed. I walked a lot, I sat in a cafe' reading a book and drinking a soy latte, I came back to my room and I spent more time sitting in the sun (on the balcony of my room) reading.

I feel that this stay in San Francisco will benefit me probably more in terms of mental health and recovering myself than in terms of work. Not because my work here is not going in the right direction. Work is going the way it should be, hopefully. But because I am really slowing down. After the first two crazy weeks here , and I was totally out of myself because of stress, now in some way, I am recovering. Fortunately. For sure, this amazing weather helps. But together with this, I am basically without cellphone, so none calls me. I am the master of my own time, where I work, it closes around 5pm and by 6pm I am out of there. I walk a lot, I think a lot, I am just with myself. Why all this didn't happen before, while I was in France or even before when I was in Italy, I don't know. Maybe, it was just not the right time.

I feel I am pulling the pieces of myself together. Of course, I still have some very bad day. Some day in which I am down and negative. Some day in which it doesn't matter how beautiful is the weather outside, I just want to hide in bed. But in general, I think I am slowly realizing that I have been very down, very depressed in the last two years because of a together of different causes and now I start to climb up again and learning how to be the real me again.

At work, everyone is surprised because I make smiling also people who normally never smiled at work before. It is good! :-)
I also got some colorful nail polish...it is not really easy to see it from this picture...but I have a bright green on my finger nails and a bright yellow of my toe nails. The yellow looks better! I love it! By the way...the person who gave me the nail polish on my toe nails told me that I have beautiful toe nails!!! I was so proud of my feet!

New addiction

USA, night

I have a new addiction. I found it just by chance, watching the performance of Ben Stiller at the Oscar night 2009. He was imitating Joaquin Phoenix. So, I got on youtube and I saw the interview to Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman.

And from there, I got addicted to the Letterman late show. I saw so many interviews to so many different people. Some are really funny.

Enjoy the weird interview with Joaquin Phoenix. Ah, I have to watch the movie "walk the line". Now that I listened to some songs of Johnny Cash, I really want to see the movie.




Today I had a lovely, wonderful long walk of two hours along Ocean Beach and then back "home" where I am staying.

Italian accent

USA, night

I was enjoying watching the Oscar 2009 night on youtube and I saw the interview to Valentino. He has a beautiful Italian accent. I should get it too, so at least people would understand where I am from, since everyone here ask me if I am from East Europe because of my accent when I speak English!!!

Random stuff

USA, night

A week in San Francisco. I love being here. I like here. I like walking around. I love the weather. I like the people I met so far. I just enjoy being here and smile since I wake up. The other day I walked into a starbucks to get a soy latte and the guy was surprised to see me in a such a good mood and so friendly. I am in a good mood. I really am.
Nothing special happened. Absolutely nothing. Same difficulties at work, lot of stress, not job perspective for after September and no salary since September on so far. No friends here. Absolutely nothing special for which I should probably be in a different or better mood than when I am in France or in any other place.
But I am. Surprisingly, walking around, in this nice weather, seeing people smiling, knowing that I am here to do something that I really like and enjoy, even if it could be the last time I do this kind of work, it just makes me feel happy and lucky. At least so far. Yes, it doesn't make too much sense. But this is the way I feel. And I should just get along with it.
I am sure I will be back to the crappy, depress, negative mood...so, for now I should just enjoy feeling this way.

Beside, if they would offer me a job I like here, I would probably move here. The only negative thing is that here would be far from my family and friends in Italy. But that would be the only negative point I could see right now.

PS. When I like a movie, I really like it. I watched again the movie "High fidelity". I love it!

Renzo Piano and SF

USA, evening

Sometimes I am really proud of being Italian. The California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco has been thought and projected by the architect Renzo Piano.

And the California Academy of Sciences is amazing. Check this videos out:



and

respect

USA, evening

I almost finished the third book of the Millennium Trilogy. It is very good, even if the first one is probably the best one. So, I went downtown to get some new book. It was so crowded.....too crowded for me. So, as soon as I got two new books, I came back to this small area of San Francisco, which is cozy and full of little nice shops.

I noticed something. Here, everyone with a car stops when they see pedestrians crossing the road. It is something that as European, coming from Italy and living in the South of France, I am not used to. In Italy and in the South of France, crossing a road is like gambling on your life...will you survive or not? red traffic lights mean really little there and in any case, and zebra lines mean even less. Here, if there is a stop sign, cars actually stop there. If there is someone crossing, it doesn't matter how slow this person is in crossing the road, they wait, without starting to honk or shout from the car window....it is kind of impressive to me.

This is a sign of respect.

On the other hand, I went to get a manicure this morning and I noticed that a lot of the customers who were there for the same reason spent all the time talking on the self-phone ignoring completely the person who was working in front of them. I guess in Europe we talk a lot on the self-phone and it is pretty common for people to have more than one of them. However, talking on the phone while you are paying something or when someone is in front of you giving you a manicure or pedicure, it is considered pretty disrespectful I guess. I think that when you buy a phone, they should also teach you the galateo of how to use it. Don't speak laud on the phone if you are on a public transportation or in a public place, don't talk on the phone if someone is working for you in front of you, don't spend half an hour or more on the phone if you are having dinner with someone else etc etc etc....Beside, while getting my manicure, I was not at all interested in hearing someone else plans for the day or her problems or whatever they were talking about......Am I not modern enough to understand that this is the way it works now and it is normal???

Potato bread

USA, evening

I got to San Francisco....I am still completely under the jet lag effect. Last night I woke up at midnight, at 3 am, at 5 am and then definitively at 6.30 am. But beside that and the long trip to get here (after 6 hours on the plane I was ready to be done with it and I was only at half of the trip...), I am happy. I like San Francisco. The weather is nice, the people are friendly, the city is beautiful, a lot of people walking, running, smiling....Maybe I am in a good neighborhood, I don't know, but the atmosphere is definitively nice. If it was not so far from Italy, I wouldn't have so many problems to move here (except the fact that I would need to find a job too, of course)... I am staying in a nice guest house and the owner of it is so nice...so far, I have no complains. And the California Academy of Science, the new building, is incredible! very very nice. I still didn't get a chance to walk around and see everything in there, but from what I saw, it is incredible!
And this neighborhood. Full of small grocery stores, small shops, locally produced products...and an Irish bakery. Today, on the way back from work, I couldn't resist to buy something in there...unfortunately, it seems that all the bread in Ireland is made with cream or buttermilk or milk....so, I can't have it. But everything was so inviting that I couldn't walk out without anything. I got the only thing without milk products in there, the potato bread........................................................and I am so disappointed! I really don't like it. They have all these inviting different kind of breads and I got probably the only thing that doesn't taste good :-(!!!
Tomorrow, I will go and explore here around a bit more...

-1 and a bit

France, night

Since my last post, I had a very crazy time. A job interview, a visit from my mom and then after tomorrow I am leaving for San Francisco....Lot of things to think about and not enough time...I hope to have an internet connection in the place where I will be staying in SF, so that I can update my blog!!!

high fidelity

France, night

I am tired and I should go to bed to get a good night sleep before my job interview. Anyway, I was stressed for work and I got this movie "High Fidelity". I heard a lot about it and never saw it. It is great! I mean, the actors are really good (I love Jack Black in this movie), the story is nice and the ending, when John Cusack talks about how it is dreaming about something in comparison with the reality, that part alone, is already worth it. I loved it! It also made me so relaxed.



Such a great movie! If you haven't seen it yet, watch it. Especially if you are a man!

Getting ready

France, night

I am leaving in a week for California and I can't say that I am ready. Actually, quite the opposite. I have so many scattered things to think about that I can't even think that I am leaving in a week to work somewhere else for a month.

Among the various things to think about, last week I got two notices from the Justice Palace. Of course, I got worried. Basically, my landlady, who is even younger than me, wants so badly to get back into possess of this apartment to avoid to do any work in it, that to be sure that I will leave, she involved a lawyer. How sick can you be please? the people of the real state agency where I rented the apartment apologized to me for her behavior.
Beside this, I will have to start to look around for a new place...a new place maybe only for a couple of months, as my salary will end in September and at the moment there are no open perspectives. However, I am not even that worried, I am sure that things will just go into the right place, as they always do....but still, a lot of changes in the future that I need to consider.

On friday, I have a big job interview. The interview is actually not big...the job position is. I have to go near Paris for that. In the middle of nowhere. So, I will leave on thursday to be sure to be there on time on friday morning.

I spent the last 4 days working like crazy (reaching the top of the tip of stress yesterday in which I spent I don't know how many hours just crying because I was very very tired and I couldn't do anything anymore) for a big grant application to find out this evening, before the submission, that yes, it is not written clearly in there, but basically I can't ask for a salary for myself in the grant. Then, why should I even bother to apply? to ask a salary for other people? yeah, very smart, congratulations...whatever....I just got upset thinking of how beautiful was the weather in the past two days and how I didn't enjoy it at all to stay home to work.....

What else? My life is going too fast. It is really spinning, I am not sure I can catch up. I need to stop and breath. But it seems that I didn't get the time yet.

I am looking forward to a long night of sleep.

citation of the day

France, evening

I just heard this in the movie I saw. The movie is Whatever Lola wants and it is a nice movie, especially because I like belly dancing.

"When you let yourself be vulnerable, then you became strong"

...bah...maybe....for sure being vulnerable makes me really scared....

a no mall person

France, afternoon

I am a woman and I don't like shopping. If there is something I like even less are malls. France on the other hand, like the USA, seems to love malls....so if you want something, you can either go to one of the fancy shops outside the malls and pay a lot, or go to the mall and in my case get in a horrible mood and with a huge headhacke. True, stupid of me that being aware of my allergy to malls, I went there on saturday. One the other hand, it is not that during the week I have so much time.
My personality goes with: I need something, I get into the shop where I can find that something, I buy it and I am out. Total time, as less as possible. I shop when I need something. The only place where I can indulge a bit, it is the Body Shop. But for the rest, I prefer to spend my money traveling or buying books. I think that I am not good in dealing with too many inputs and so malls are terrible for me. Too many lights, people, shops, things, noise....Too much of too many things....
I am definitively more an outdoor type that a shopping type. Too bad that the people I know here are not too much for outdoor or even walks in the nature.....I need to meet more people, definitively!

Yellow

France, morning

This morning my day began with a visit to the dentist. I don't really like to go to the dentist. Well, I don't like to go to a doctor in general. But anyway, one of my filling was destroyed into pieces and so I didn't have too much choice than pay a visit to the dentist...also because lately I felt like having a dead mouse in my mouth, which was not really a very pleasant feeling....

While at the dentist I found out that it is about 28 years that I brush my teeth in the wrong way, causing apparently an irreversible damage to my gum and that the reason why my teeth are so yellow (and unfortunately there is nothing I can do for it) is probably due to the use of tetraciclyne when I was little. In fact, it has been shown that the use of tetraciclyne in the young stage of human life determines a change in color in the teeth. Because when I was little I had a lung infection, it could be that it has been treated with tetraciclyne and that this determined the yellow color of my teeth......so basically the choice is either you cure what you have using the tetraciclyne and then you will probably have yellow teeth when you get older, or you will have wonderful white teeth at older age, but you may die earlier due to a nasty disease......I hope that they found some good alternative to tetraciclyne......in my case...I have to live with my yellow teeth which I don't love too much....but what can I do?
Ah, in my case because of my bad gum, any bleaching treatment would be extremely painful and because of the reason of my yellow teeth, it wouldn't even work that well......

Puah....

hopeless romantic

France, evening

Definitively, I am an hopeless romantic. I was watching Wall-e and I found a way to cry for this movie too. I feel a bit stupid, I have to admit it. Every time there is a bit of romance in a movie or in a book, I end up like crying. I am dreaming of a light, happy, smiling love story.
I liked the movie and Wall-e and Eve are cute. But the movie is sad. Already from the beginning. Yes, there is an happy ending. But it is sad. Maybe I am just too sensitive....