You are becoming an ugly person

France, night

Yesterday my sister's husband told me after lunch that being alone, without a boyfriend here, without a regular, normal relationship, living alone and liking my life alone, I am becoming an uglier person.

And he didn't mean uglier for the way I look (beside the fact that I don't shave my legs since a couple of weeks, and I am sure that if someone would see that, he wouldn't think that it is very nice), he really intended as a person. I am becoming, according to him, a worst person because I spend too much time on my own and I actually like it. He left me speechless. First, because I don't think that it is absolutely true, but of course, I may be quite biased about that. Second, because I was so surprised by what he said to even think that he would deserve a reply on the topic.

Today, when this topic came out again, he said that what he really wanted to express was that the longer someone lives alone and likes it, the more difficult will be to compromise and have a relationship. Which may well be. But I am not sure that being with someone just for being with someone who lives here would be a good solution either. Or that would make me happier than I am.

I am 34 years old and I still have people who tell me how I should live my life, what I should do to improve it, or that prefer to not talk about divergent opinions on things. Which would be ok if these people would have an idea of who I am as a person, what I think and what my dreams are. It is not ok when what I do or think is making me a worst person because I don't follow the general standards.....

How many people can say that they are living the life that they wanted to live? of course, it is not perfect. Of course, sometimes I feel very lonely and I miss that special person who looks at me like there are not coolest person in the world and makes me feel that after all I don't really come from Mars and that even if I would, it wouldn't actually matter to him. Of course, I miss that. And I miss to hide in the arms of my love when I feel like. And I miss my old time friends. And I start to deal not so well with the uncertainties of this job and the idea of having to start my life again maybe in another place. Of course, I would like to have more time for myself. Of course, some days I am very very scared and pessimistic. Of course, I feel all this and more.

Would I like to change my life if I could? NO.
Would I like to change the way I am, especially lately, if I could? NO
Would I like to change my job if I could? NO

And so why people before to give me advices on what I should do to improve my life, don't take the same time to try to see who I really am, what I like, and what my dreams are?
Why do I get frustrated when these people give me advices about things without considering if I am really happy or not with what I have? Because I care about them and their opinion, and in my mind I still hope one day to be able to share my dreams and my ideas with these people and that they will be able to love me for whom I am and not just because they are part of my family or because they need me in their lives.