something I am good at

France, night

If there is something I am very very good at is to pick the wrong movie and have a lot of expectation for it.
Tonight I got the movie "Two lovers". And I had even higher expectations after the guy working at the video store told me: "you will love this, it is a romantic comedy"................

Now, either we have a different concept of what it is romantic and what it is a romantic comedy or he had not clue what the movie is about or the movie has a romantic hint that I was not able to catch. Anyway, the movie put me in a bad bad mood.

The main actors have such a bad roles. And also, is it to be considered romantic a guy who proposes to a person who is crazy about him, just because he got refused by the person he actually really loves? is it romantic that he renounced to his dreams? is it romantic that he may one day maybe learn to love the person to whom he proposed to? is it romantic the fact that he would have left her without a single word to run to the other side of the country with someone else?

I found the movie very very depressing. And unfortunately, also realistic about the human nature and how people have fear of remaining alone and how often after being refused, someone who just wants you seems to be what you need and the best solution to avoid to completely fall apart.

Fortunately, I have some good books here to read before to go to bed (I am planning to re-read the Harry Potter books before the new movie comes out!). I hope that my mood will improve. My first thought of course was: gosh, imagine if a guy like that would happen to me. I could live in the illusion that he loves me, while instead I am just his second choice. So depressing. But it does happens. I know people who got married in this way. The person they loved didn't want them and after waiting at the end they married someone else for whom they were not in love, but who made them feeling wanted and loved.

I wish I will never find myself in either of the two places, not as the one who is the second choice, not as the one who will decide that someone for whom I am not that in love with, but makes me feel desired and loved is better than nothing.

I am an hopeless romantic!