France, morning
There are a lot of bad things happening every day in the world. But last night something happened very very close to my home town, in a place that I know very well and that I love. For some time with the olandesino we even dreamed of finding some financial support to start our own research group there. Anyway, this place is Viareggio, in Tuscany. And last night a deadly accident happened to a train transporting gas. There was an explosion, two buildings collapsed, a lot of fire, and a lot of people died and got badly injured.
In these moments, I always feel very sad and sorry for the victims of disasters like this one and also very lucky, because none of my family was there. And they could have been. Viareggio in the summer is a place where to go, to walk around, near the sea. I could have been on a train arriving in Viareggio, since from here it is the closest final train destination to my home town. When these things happen, I would like to be home with my family and the people I feel closer to me and hug all of them and just be together. It is so scary to think that one minute everything is fine and the next minute someone you love with all yourself could not be part of your life anymore.
It doesn't help anyone really, I know, but I feel very close to all the families who lost someone they love in this tragic accident.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
French orgasm
France, evening
In the South of France there are these cute houses, in these cute streets. And the streets are so narrow and the houses so close to each other, that something like a bit of privacy may be a difficult thing to obtain.
I became friend of an old man who lives in front of me. We "meet" on our own balconies to exchange a few words couple of times a day. It is charming. Talking from balcony to balcony is a very common activity here. It doesn't really matter if the neighbors know about each other life. It is a characteristic thing here. Everyone keeps track on the others.
This evening, I was just sitting in my living room, working at the computer, when my attention got caught by a very loud "ahhhhh, ahhhh, ahhhhhhhhh, oui, oui, ouiiiiiiiiiiii".....and so on. A woman was having fun. Good for her. Too bad that with the houses so close to each other, the walls separating the apartments made out of nothing, the hot season that forces to keep the windows open and the fact that her pleasure lasted quite long (if I manage to see who the guy with her is, I will congratulate myself with him!), anyone living in this neighborhood had the chance to participate to the intercourse of this couple. She managed to get to an end, finally. Of course, the end was much louder than before. I can say that she certainly enjoyed it!
No secrets! let's share everything!!! we are just a big happy family!!!!
In the South of France there are these cute houses, in these cute streets. And the streets are so narrow and the houses so close to each other, that something like a bit of privacy may be a difficult thing to obtain.
I became friend of an old man who lives in front of me. We "meet" on our own balconies to exchange a few words couple of times a day. It is charming. Talking from balcony to balcony is a very common activity here. It doesn't really matter if the neighbors know about each other life. It is a characteristic thing here. Everyone keeps track on the others.
This evening, I was just sitting in my living room, working at the computer, when my attention got caught by a very loud "ahhhhh, ahhhh, ahhhhhhhhh, oui, oui, ouiiiiiiiiiiii".....and so on. A woman was having fun. Good for her. Too bad that with the houses so close to each other, the walls separating the apartments made out of nothing, the hot season that forces to keep the windows open and the fact that her pleasure lasted quite long (if I manage to see who the guy with her is, I will congratulate myself with him!), anyone living in this neighborhood had the chance to participate to the intercourse of this couple. She managed to get to an end, finally. Of course, the end was much louder than before. I can say that she certainly enjoyed it!
No secrets! let's share everything!!! we are just a big happy family!!!!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
After la cremaillere
France, morning
My eyes this morning are open so little that I can barely see. I am too sleepy. Last night the cremaillere/the house warming party was nice. I hope everyone enjoyed, even if there were two different groups of people who didn't really integrated as I hoped. But we laughed a lot and this is the most important thing.
I made a lot of small things to "grignoter" (French for snacking) and I made sure to have plenty of alcoholic beverages: wine, lot of beer, juice, coke, water of course. I think I over-due in some way (I probably got this characteristics from my mom who gets so worry that there are not enough things to eat and to drink when she invites someone, that normally we can go on with the left over for days). I have quite some left over. And left over of things that I can't eat or drink, so I guess I will use this as an occasion to invite some friend over again.
A friend of mine brought some fruits beer...I heard about it and I think that it is just cute and weird. I can't try it unfortunately, as I don't stand alcohol, but it looks funny anyway. I made the tiramisu as I was planning to. I didn't find the right cookies, but apparently none noticed, as everyone loved it and asked me for the recipe. I should open a take away tiramisu place. It is quite easy to prepare. Then I also made some banana-walnut muffins. First time for me in which I made muffins. It turned out quite well.... I made them cow-milk free, so that I could try them. They are good! I just had two of them for breakfast this morning (they are quite small).
It is amazing how little I like to cook (in fact, I never cook) and how much I like instead to prepare cakes and cookies and sweet things, even if a lot of times I can't eat them. I think that dessert are such a social, happy thing to make and to share. It always makes me happy to prepare cakes!
Now I should start to work, I have so much to do!!!
My eyes this morning are open so little that I can barely see. I am too sleepy. Last night the cremaillere/the house warming party was nice. I hope everyone enjoyed, even if there were two different groups of people who didn't really integrated as I hoped. But we laughed a lot and this is the most important thing.
I made a lot of small things to "grignoter" (French for snacking) and I made sure to have plenty of alcoholic beverages: wine, lot of beer, juice, coke, water of course. I think I over-due in some way (I probably got this characteristics from my mom who gets so worry that there are not enough things to eat and to drink when she invites someone, that normally we can go on with the left over for days). I have quite some left over. And left over of things that I can't eat or drink, so I guess I will use this as an occasion to invite some friend over again.
A friend of mine brought some fruits beer...I heard about it and I think that it is just cute and weird. I can't try it unfortunately, as I don't stand alcohol, but it looks funny anyway. I made the tiramisu as I was planning to. I didn't find the right cookies, but apparently none noticed, as everyone loved it and asked me for the recipe. I should open a take away tiramisu place. It is quite easy to prepare. Then I also made some banana-walnut muffins. First time for me in which I made muffins. It turned out quite well.... I made them cow-milk free, so that I could try them. They are good! I just had two of them for breakfast this morning (they are quite small).It is amazing how little I like to cook (in fact, I never cook) and how much I like instead to prepare cakes and cookies and sweet things, even if a lot of times I can't eat them. I think that dessert are such a social, happy thing to make and to share. It always makes me happy to prepare cakes!
Now I should start to work, I have so much to do!!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Getting closer to the cremaillere
France, evening
Two more evenings and then I will have the cremaillere chez moi....which basically is an house warming party at my place. It seems that about 20 people from work and couchsurf friends will come. I like the idea of inviting people at my place, but then I get very very nervous as I would like to have everything under control and I would like everyone to have a lot of fun and enjoy it. To succeed in this, I have to make sure to have plenty of wine and alchool beverages. Plus water and juice for myself.
Then I guess I will order a few pizzas, make my famous tiramisu (and I hope to find the right cookies for it, the pavesini), make some salty and sweet snacks and have plenty of other things like olives, seeds etc.
And then what should I organize to entratain people??? it is too long since I had so many people coming over. Of course I will make sure to have some good music.
Uhhhhh, I get so nervous....I want to make sure that everybody will enjoy it!
Two more evenings and then I will have the cremaillere chez moi....which basically is an house warming party at my place. It seems that about 20 people from work and couchsurf friends will come. I like the idea of inviting people at my place, but then I get very very nervous as I would like to have everything under control and I would like everyone to have a lot of fun and enjoy it. To succeed in this, I have to make sure to have plenty of wine and alchool beverages. Plus water and juice for myself.
Then I guess I will order a few pizzas, make my famous tiramisu (and I hope to find the right cookies for it, the pavesini), make some salty and sweet snacks and have plenty of other things like olives, seeds etc.
And then what should I organize to entratain people??? it is too long since I had so many people coming over. Of course I will make sure to have some good music.
Uhhhhh, I get so nervous....I want to make sure that everybody will enjoy it!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
The best excuses for not needing to shower
France, night
A lot of people seem to arrive on my blog typing "why French don't shower" and then they end up on my post.
Because we are now in the best season to fully appreciate the mixture of natural body odors of whom doesn't shower since days, I decided to list here the best excuses I heard for not showering (and not only from the French):
1) (Currently very common) It is hot outside, so if I shower and go out I will sweat again. I may just not shower till I don't need to go out.
2) (following the previous one) I stay at home, I don't need to shower.
3) (for the winter) It is cold outside, I don't sweat, so I don't need to shower.
4) (the ecologist) Water is a resource to not be wasted. I like to think that if I don't shower, I will help the planet. (this excuse was particularly disappointing as I heard it from a very cute German guy....who unfortunately stank like a goat!)
5) (the self-convinced) I don't sweat. Taking one shower a week is enough for me. The rest of the days I just use deodorant/perfume.
6) (the scientist) Body odors are part of us. They are natural. Humans are the only ones in the animal kingdom who try to cover body odors with artificial things.
7) (for the night people) I like to shower in the morning, it helps me to wake up. Unfortunately, I am always running late, so I don't have enough time to shower most of the days.
8) (for the morning people) I like to shower before bed, so I go to bed clean. Unfortunately, often it is so late by the time that I go to bed, that I just don't shower.
9) (reason for not loving to shower suggested by Nicole in the comment to this post) Not being a big shower-fan because after we have to do the hair.
These are the best excuses for not showering that came up to my mind just now. I will update this post if I will hear or remember new excuses. If you know any good one, please let me know!
I thought of this topic for my night post, as today in France it is the "fete de la musique" day. Basically a day of the music. Very cool. But also an occasion to come very close to a lot of very smelly people.
A lot of people seem to arrive on my blog typing "why French don't shower" and then they end up on my post.
Because we are now in the best season to fully appreciate the mixture of natural body odors of whom doesn't shower since days, I decided to list here the best excuses I heard for not showering (and not only from the French):
1) (Currently very common) It is hot outside, so if I shower and go out I will sweat again. I may just not shower till I don't need to go out.
2) (following the previous one) I stay at home, I don't need to shower.
3) (for the winter) It is cold outside, I don't sweat, so I don't need to shower.
4) (the ecologist) Water is a resource to not be wasted. I like to think that if I don't shower, I will help the planet. (this excuse was particularly disappointing as I heard it from a very cute German guy....who unfortunately stank like a goat!)
5) (the self-convinced) I don't sweat. Taking one shower a week is enough for me. The rest of the days I just use deodorant/perfume.
6) (the scientist) Body odors are part of us. They are natural. Humans are the only ones in the animal kingdom who try to cover body odors with artificial things.
7) (for the night people) I like to shower in the morning, it helps me to wake up. Unfortunately, I am always running late, so I don't have enough time to shower most of the days.
8) (for the morning people) I like to shower before bed, so I go to bed clean. Unfortunately, often it is so late by the time that I go to bed, that I just don't shower.
9) (reason for not loving to shower suggested by Nicole in the comment to this post) Not being a big shower-fan because after we have to do the hair.
These are the best excuses for not showering that came up to my mind just now. I will update this post if I will hear or remember new excuses. If you know any good one, please let me know!
I thought of this topic for my night post, as today in France it is the "fete de la musique" day. Basically a day of the music. Very cool. But also an occasion to come very close to a lot of very smelly people.
Friday, June 19, 2009
The French attitude
France, morning
If I want to write a post, I have to do it before to go to work in the morning. After, my day is just too full lately. Out of nothing I got a job offer the other day, to stay here some additional months after the end of my fellowship. The person who offered me the job would like me to do something that I don't know if it can be done, so it may be that I can't take the job ;-( I really hope that it will work out.
It is a bit more than a year that I live in the South of France and the general impression is very positive. In fact, I would like to stay here longer. It is positive even considering the assholes working at the agency who rented me my old apartment and still keep my entire deposit (900 euros). It is still positive beside the street full of dogs poo. It is still positive beside the fact that French needs to put butter on almost any edible thing. It is still positive even if the bureaucracy here is even worse than in Italy. I guess I just like here. It reminds me a lot about the life style Tuscany in some way.
But in this year I noticed that the French have an unique attitude, that I never found anywhere else in the world. They basically don't give a shit about absolutely anything except themselves. They don't do it in a mean way. It is not something bad. I think it is more something deep inside them, a deep cultural behavior to survive. They just left other people deal with what they do. And because of this, whatever it happens, it is never something to apologize for. But nothing of this means anything bad, it is just the way they are. Because if you actually ask their help, they can be very nice and people here are extremely friendly and pleasant.
If I would have a dog and my dog would poo in the middle of the street, I would clean it.
Here none does it and they don't care if someone will step on it. Someone else will take care of the cleaning.
If they open a door, they don't care of closing it slowly, so that the noisy don't make anyone jump on the chair or in bed or anywhere else. They just slammed it.
If you are not used to the way they walk here on the street, better be careful. French don't move to let you pass. They walk straight, coming toward you, without the minimum intention of slightly moving out of the way. The walk everywhere on the street, without a general pattern, but more like:" this is my space, too bad I have to share it with other people. In any case it is their problem, they will deal with that". I have no idea how they can avoid to bump into each other at the last minute.
If you have a problem, any kind of problem, it is your problem. This includes the fact that if your neighbors are very very noisy and you will in any way try to let them understand that they cannot play laud music at 4 am because they wake you up, this will be your problem that you can't sleep with their laud music, not their lack of politeness.
If you receive a lot of commercial magazines every day in the mail, what everyone here does is to take them out of the their mailbox and piled on top of it, in the common space, till you will have a pile of commercial magazines, even of some weeks old, spreading everywhere, including the floor and you will decide that instead of trashing to the recycle only the one you found in your mailbox, maybe you can also trash the ones of anyone else living in the building. See? they know that what they will not do, will be done by someone else for them.
Minimum effort, maximum result! and the ones above are just a few example that I found very astonishing.
If I want to write a post, I have to do it before to go to work in the morning. After, my day is just too full lately. Out of nothing I got a job offer the other day, to stay here some additional months after the end of my fellowship. The person who offered me the job would like me to do something that I don't know if it can be done, so it may be that I can't take the job ;-( I really hope that it will work out.
It is a bit more than a year that I live in the South of France and the general impression is very positive. In fact, I would like to stay here longer. It is positive even considering the assholes working at the agency who rented me my old apartment and still keep my entire deposit (900 euros). It is still positive beside the street full of dogs poo. It is still positive beside the fact that French needs to put butter on almost any edible thing. It is still positive even if the bureaucracy here is even worse than in Italy. I guess I just like here. It reminds me a lot about the life style Tuscany in some way.
But in this year I noticed that the French have an unique attitude, that I never found anywhere else in the world. They basically don't give a shit about absolutely anything except themselves. They don't do it in a mean way. It is not something bad. I think it is more something deep inside them, a deep cultural behavior to survive. They just left other people deal with what they do. And because of this, whatever it happens, it is never something to apologize for. But nothing of this means anything bad, it is just the way they are. Because if you actually ask their help, they can be very nice and people here are extremely friendly and pleasant.
If I would have a dog and my dog would poo in the middle of the street, I would clean it.
Here none does it and they don't care if someone will step on it. Someone else will take care of the cleaning.
If they open a door, they don't care of closing it slowly, so that the noisy don't make anyone jump on the chair or in bed or anywhere else. They just slammed it.
If you are not used to the way they walk here on the street, better be careful. French don't move to let you pass. They walk straight, coming toward you, without the minimum intention of slightly moving out of the way. The walk everywhere on the street, without a general pattern, but more like:" this is my space, too bad I have to share it with other people. In any case it is their problem, they will deal with that". I have no idea how they can avoid to bump into each other at the last minute.
If you have a problem, any kind of problem, it is your problem. This includes the fact that if your neighbors are very very noisy and you will in any way try to let them understand that they cannot play laud music at 4 am because they wake you up, this will be your problem that you can't sleep with their laud music, not their lack of politeness.
If you receive a lot of commercial magazines every day in the mail, what everyone here does is to take them out of the their mailbox and piled on top of it, in the common space, till you will have a pile of commercial magazines, even of some weeks old, spreading everywhere, including the floor and you will decide that instead of trashing to the recycle only the one you found in your mailbox, maybe you can also trash the ones of anyone else living in the building. See? they know that what they will not do, will be done by someone else for them.
Minimum effort, maximum result! and the ones above are just a few example that I found very astonishing.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Happy ending
France, night
Just a brief post before to go to bed. I am too busy with work lately, and unfortunately I don't have any time to blog or do things I like.
Anyway. I just saw this movie, the visitor, and I loved it. It is very touching. I know that an happy ending, where everything goes well and everyone is happy would have made the movie "too soft" and that in some way the movie doesn't end in a bad way and it is more realistic like that....but I still wish it would have had an happy ending.
It is a very nice movie about how it is never too late to start to live again.
Just a brief post before to go to bed. I am too busy with work lately, and unfortunately I don't have any time to blog or do things I like.
Anyway. I just saw this movie, the visitor, and I loved it. It is very touching. I know that an happy ending, where everything goes well and everyone is happy would have made the movie "too soft" and that in some way the movie doesn't end in a bad way and it is more realistic like that....but I still wish it would have had an happy ending.
It is a very nice movie about how it is never too late to start to live again.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The BBQ season
France, morning
I have this irrational thing of feeling uncomfortable in eating in public. I think that partly is due to the fact that my dad was so strict on the right behavior to keep while eating, that I am always still afraid of not following the rules when I am out with other people. On top of this, I have a lot of eating out problems due to my intolerance to any cow milk product. It is a pain in the butt to always have to ask to the person who invites you if there is something cooked without any cow milk product (and people never realize in how many things these products can be). And I don't feel very much for eating whatever and then being sick after.
On the other hand, I like to attend social activities from time to time.
So, now that the barbecue season started, like every year, I have to think on what to do. I have been invited to a barbecue on wednesday, on friday and on sunday this week. If I also include the fact that I am not crazy about beef meat and I don't like pork meat at all, well......But I like the atmosphere of the barbecue. It just makes me feel uneasy to eat with other people (yeah, I know, I have some silly issue) and to not eat what everyone else eat. I don't know why, I always have to end explaining why I don't eat certain kind of meat but I am not vegetarian. Why cow milk is not ok, but goat and sheep milk products are fine since they have lactose too (no idea why, I just know that they don't make me sick, which is enough for me). Last time I went out with two very nice people that I liked a lot, they got surprised by my manners. Now, you would think that this is a positive thing. And yes, they said that they were surprised by my way of speaking and by my manners in a positive way. But it just made me feel different and out of this world (uh, such a news!).
My parents were strict in terms of manners, in terms of how to behave with older people/people you don't know/people you respect. They were strict in terms of the way to talk, especially depending with whom I talk to and the different use of words. They were strict about how to sit, how to eat, etc. It is true that I behave more like a man than in a feminine way, but still these rules are deep in my soul and so it doesn't matter how masculine I can behave, I still use the proper words when necessary and I behave in a very educated way when with other people. I like being that way, but I also feel like I am on this planet at the wrong time sometimes.
I normally feel comfortable in being the way I am till someone makes me feel that I am different.
My manners had always been a source of surprise for an American close friend of mine and for many other Americans I have met. It is kind of funny sometimes, especially if you feel comfortable with the people who point out these things about me. But when I am in a group that includes also people I am not so familiar with, then the result is that I feel uncomfortable.
How can you easily eat in a mannered way the BBQ meat, without touching it with the fingers? Come on, it feels like it taste even less if you don't use your finger. But it is not a mannered way to eat....
I think that I will skip one BBQ, I will go to another after dinner and I will attend one of them....
I have this irrational thing of feeling uncomfortable in eating in public. I think that partly is due to the fact that my dad was so strict on the right behavior to keep while eating, that I am always still afraid of not following the rules when I am out with other people. On top of this, I have a lot of eating out problems due to my intolerance to any cow milk product. It is a pain in the butt to always have to ask to the person who invites you if there is something cooked without any cow milk product (and people never realize in how many things these products can be). And I don't feel very much for eating whatever and then being sick after.
On the other hand, I like to attend social activities from time to time.
So, now that the barbecue season started, like every year, I have to think on what to do. I have been invited to a barbecue on wednesday, on friday and on sunday this week. If I also include the fact that I am not crazy about beef meat and I don't like pork meat at all, well......But I like the atmosphere of the barbecue. It just makes me feel uneasy to eat with other people (yeah, I know, I have some silly issue) and to not eat what everyone else eat. I don't know why, I always have to end explaining why I don't eat certain kind of meat but I am not vegetarian. Why cow milk is not ok, but goat and sheep milk products are fine since they have lactose too (no idea why, I just know that they don't make me sick, which is enough for me). Last time I went out with two very nice people that I liked a lot, they got surprised by my manners. Now, you would think that this is a positive thing. And yes, they said that they were surprised by my way of speaking and by my manners in a positive way. But it just made me feel different and out of this world (uh, such a news!).
My parents were strict in terms of manners, in terms of how to behave with older people/people you don't know/people you respect. They were strict in terms of the way to talk, especially depending with whom I talk to and the different use of words. They were strict about how to sit, how to eat, etc. It is true that I behave more like a man than in a feminine way, but still these rules are deep in my soul and so it doesn't matter how masculine I can behave, I still use the proper words when necessary and I behave in a very educated way when with other people. I like being that way, but I also feel like I am on this planet at the wrong time sometimes.
I normally feel comfortable in being the way I am till someone makes me feel that I am different.
My manners had always been a source of surprise for an American close friend of mine and for many other Americans I have met. It is kind of funny sometimes, especially if you feel comfortable with the people who point out these things about me. But when I am in a group that includes also people I am not so familiar with, then the result is that I feel uncomfortable.
How can you easily eat in a mannered way the BBQ meat, without touching it with the fingers? Come on, it feels like it taste even less if you don't use your finger. But it is not a mannered way to eat....
I think that I will skip one BBQ, I will go to another after dinner and I will attend one of them....
Sunday, June 7, 2009
House warming party
France, morningYesterday there was the festival of "les fanfares". A lot of musical bands came here from different parts of France, Italy and Spain to play at the festival. It was such a nice, partying, friendly, warm atmosphere. There was also the gay pride yesterday. It was a very busy nice day, with a lot of activities going on. By the time I got home last night, I was so tired that I fell asleep even with the noise of the bands playing.
So, I need to think about when and what to do for the house warming party. I think that I never had a house warming party before. I like the idea, but then I feel more comfortable when people just stop by and visit me, than when I invite more people over for a party. I always feel that if I invite people over, I have to try to make sure that they all have a good time...so, what can I organize? of course, I need to make sure to have enough alcohol, as they all drink quite a bit. Then, I will prepare something small to snack on and then? I like a lot to have people over, but I get nervous about how to entertain them. I am sure I will find a way to organize something nice...and I hope that everyone will enjoy it.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
friendly or...too friendly?
France, evening
I just had a peeling off mask on my face. Together with the dead cells, the mask peeled off half of my face and lots of my hair too. I am so goofy....I think that my sister got all the feminine genes and I got what was left....
Anyway. Just yesterday I was reading a blog about how difficult is, especially when you are in a foreign country, to understand when a man is just friendly or when his being friendly passes the limit. And what happens to me today? On my way home, I stopped to greet a nice old lady who lives close by and with whom I talked already a few times. She was chatting from her balcony (balcony to balcony or balcony to street chats are pretty common here) with a woman and a guy on the street. The man, without saying hi, without saying anything to introduce himself, asked me: can I invite myself for dinner?
I was surprised, but I smiled as I thought he was a friend of the old lady and so he was probably joking, just to get involved in the conversation. I told him that if he counted on me to have something to eat, he chose the wrong person as I almost never cook. And he responded that it didn't really matter, as he eats very little and it was more for the company. I started to feel very uncomfortable and wanted to leave. But I also didn't want to be unfriendly, as the old lady is very nice.
In the next few minutes after this first exchange of sentences it came up a) that I am from Italy (and this seems to increase of about 80% my quotes with a foreign man) b) that I am from Tuscany (another 10% to add to my quotes) c) that the man would have liked to come home with me to keep talking about Tuscany and Florence and art with me (this because I was telling to the all of them how come that we had so many great artist working or from Tuscany).
At this point I got way more than uncomfortable. A person who you never saw before in your life keeps telling you that he wants to come home with you. How would you have felt in that situation at my place? I was not flattered at all. Beside, the man was probably at least 20 years older than I am. The old lady started to apologize for him, saying that he needs to grow up and that he talks too much. For me he absolutely went too far. So, from being a friendly person, I shifted immediately into a cold one, said au revoir (goodbye) and left.
After living for long time in civilized countries, like Germany, Holland and the USA, I forgot how pushy and disrespectful men can be in the South of Europe. I need to get back my cold look and definitively be less friendly with people I don't know.
I just had a peeling off mask on my face. Together with the dead cells, the mask peeled off half of my face and lots of my hair too. I am so goofy....I think that my sister got all the feminine genes and I got what was left....
Anyway. Just yesterday I was reading a blog about how difficult is, especially when you are in a foreign country, to understand when a man is just friendly or when his being friendly passes the limit. And what happens to me today? On my way home, I stopped to greet a nice old lady who lives close by and with whom I talked already a few times. She was chatting from her balcony (balcony to balcony or balcony to street chats are pretty common here) with a woman and a guy on the street. The man, without saying hi, without saying anything to introduce himself, asked me: can I invite myself for dinner?
I was surprised, but I smiled as I thought he was a friend of the old lady and so he was probably joking, just to get involved in the conversation. I told him that if he counted on me to have something to eat, he chose the wrong person as I almost never cook. And he responded that it didn't really matter, as he eats very little and it was more for the company. I started to feel very uncomfortable and wanted to leave. But I also didn't want to be unfriendly, as the old lady is very nice.
In the next few minutes after this first exchange of sentences it came up a) that I am from Italy (and this seems to increase of about 80% my quotes with a foreign man) b) that I am from Tuscany (another 10% to add to my quotes) c) that the man would have liked to come home with me to keep talking about Tuscany and Florence and art with me (this because I was telling to the all of them how come that we had so many great artist working or from Tuscany).
At this point I got way more than uncomfortable. A person who you never saw before in your life keeps telling you that he wants to come home with you. How would you have felt in that situation at my place? I was not flattered at all. Beside, the man was probably at least 20 years older than I am. The old lady started to apologize for him, saying that he needs to grow up and that he talks too much. For me he absolutely went too far. So, from being a friendly person, I shifted immediately into a cold one, said au revoir (goodbye) and left.
After living for long time in civilized countries, like Germany, Holland and the USA, I forgot how pushy and disrespectful men can be in the South of Europe. I need to get back my cold look and definitively be less friendly with people I don't know.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
something I am good at
France, night
If there is something I am very very good at is to pick the wrong movie and have a lot of expectation for it.
Tonight I got the movie "Two lovers". And I had even higher expectations after the guy working at the video store told me: "you will love this, it is a romantic comedy"................
Now, either we have a different concept of what it is romantic and what it is a romantic comedy or he had not clue what the movie is about or the movie has a romantic hint that I was not able to catch. Anyway, the movie put me in a bad bad mood.
The main actors have such a bad roles. And also, is it to be considered romantic a guy who proposes to a person who is crazy about him, just because he got refused by the person he actually really loves? is it romantic that he renounced to his dreams? is it romantic that he may one day maybe learn to love the person to whom he proposed to? is it romantic the fact that he would have left her without a single word to run to the other side of the country with someone else?
I found the movie very very depressing. And unfortunately, also realistic about the human nature and how people have fear of remaining alone and how often after being refused, someone who just wants you seems to be what you need and the best solution to avoid to completely fall apart.
Fortunately, I have some good books here to read before to go to bed (I am planning to re-read the Harry Potter books before the new movie comes out!). I hope that my mood will improve. My first thought of course was: gosh, imagine if a guy like that would happen to me. I could live in the illusion that he loves me, while instead I am just his second choice. So depressing. But it does happens. I know people who got married in this way. The person they loved didn't want them and after waiting at the end they married someone else for whom they were not in love, but who made them feeling wanted and loved.
I wish I will never find myself in either of the two places, not as the one who is the second choice, not as the one who will decide that someone for whom I am not that in love with, but makes me feel desired and loved is better than nothing.
I am an hopeless romantic!
If there is something I am very very good at is to pick the wrong movie and have a lot of expectation for it.
Tonight I got the movie "Two lovers". And I had even higher expectations after the guy working at the video store told me: "you will love this, it is a romantic comedy"................
Now, either we have a different concept of what it is romantic and what it is a romantic comedy or he had not clue what the movie is about or the movie has a romantic hint that I was not able to catch. Anyway, the movie put me in a bad bad mood.
The main actors have such a bad roles. And also, is it to be considered romantic a guy who proposes to a person who is crazy about him, just because he got refused by the person he actually really loves? is it romantic that he renounced to his dreams? is it romantic that he may one day maybe learn to love the person to whom he proposed to? is it romantic the fact that he would have left her without a single word to run to the other side of the country with someone else?
I found the movie very very depressing. And unfortunately, also realistic about the human nature and how people have fear of remaining alone and how often after being refused, someone who just wants you seems to be what you need and the best solution to avoid to completely fall apart.
Fortunately, I have some good books here to read before to go to bed (I am planning to re-read the Harry Potter books before the new movie comes out!). I hope that my mood will improve. My first thought of course was: gosh, imagine if a guy like that would happen to me. I could live in the illusion that he loves me, while instead I am just his second choice. So depressing. But it does happens. I know people who got married in this way. The person they loved didn't want them and after waiting at the end they married someone else for whom they were not in love, but who made them feeling wanted and loved.
I wish I will never find myself in either of the two places, not as the one who is the second choice, not as the one who will decide that someone for whom I am not that in love with, but makes me feel desired and loved is better than nothing.
I am an hopeless romantic!
The lump
France, lunch time
Three weeks ago I found a lump near my left breast. I called the doctor and she said that it was probably due to waxing the arm pit. She gave me a cream and told me to call her back if nothing would change within a few days. Nothing changed. So, I got an appointment with her and I found another person. She visited me and told me that probably was nothing to worry about and to keep an eye on it. So, in some way I felt relieved. Within 10 days, I had to go to the doctor again because of my intestinal infection and so, since my original doctor was back in the office, I asked her if she could check the lump. She said that it is probably nothing, but that it would be better to get some more in dept control to be sure about the nature of it. She told me to not worry, but that in these things it is better to be safe than sorry (and I totally agree).
I left her office with my mood under my shoes. I was already experiencing a hard enough month without this. I was optimist about it, I felt it couldn't be anything bad. But in my family I have a lot of people who had any kind of cancer, including my grandma with a breast cancer and so I am considered at risk. I walked back home from the doctor office feeling completely empty. I got an appointment for a check within 3 days. In these three days, even if I was trying to not think about it and be very positive about it, I couldn't completely remove from my mind the thought "and what if......?".
I got a mammography (gosh, I didn't have any idea that it could be so painful!!!) and an ultrasound (I think this is the right word in English) last saturday. Within some minutes, they told me that the lump was nothing cancer-like and that I shouldn't worry about it.
I think I had a lot of stress in the last weeks and this was such a good news, that as soon as I left the place where I got these tests, I started crying. I got home and I kept crying without being able to stop for some hours. Sometimes it is so difficult to not have anyone very very close to me to share these things with, good and bad things, just to talk about them, or to receive a hug from someone who is truly close to me and wants the best for me. I was very down on saturday and I am happy that my mom arrived here that day to spend some days with me.
Three weeks ago I found a lump near my left breast. I called the doctor and she said that it was probably due to waxing the arm pit. She gave me a cream and told me to call her back if nothing would change within a few days. Nothing changed. So, I got an appointment with her and I found another person. She visited me and told me that probably was nothing to worry about and to keep an eye on it. So, in some way I felt relieved. Within 10 days, I had to go to the doctor again because of my intestinal infection and so, since my original doctor was back in the office, I asked her if she could check the lump. She said that it is probably nothing, but that it would be better to get some more in dept control to be sure about the nature of it. She told me to not worry, but that in these things it is better to be safe than sorry (and I totally agree).
I left her office with my mood under my shoes. I was already experiencing a hard enough month without this. I was optimist about it, I felt it couldn't be anything bad. But in my family I have a lot of people who had any kind of cancer, including my grandma with a breast cancer and so I am considered at risk. I walked back home from the doctor office feeling completely empty. I got an appointment for a check within 3 days. In these three days, even if I was trying to not think about it and be very positive about it, I couldn't completely remove from my mind the thought "and what if......?".
I got a mammography (gosh, I didn't have any idea that it could be so painful!!!) and an ultrasound (I think this is the right word in English) last saturday. Within some minutes, they told me that the lump was nothing cancer-like and that I shouldn't worry about it.
I think I had a lot of stress in the last weeks and this was such a good news, that as soon as I left the place where I got these tests, I started crying. I got home and I kept crying without being able to stop for some hours. Sometimes it is so difficult to not have anyone very very close to me to share these things with, good and bad things, just to talk about them, or to receive a hug from someone who is truly close to me and wants the best for me. I was very down on saturday and I am happy that my mom arrived here that day to spend some days with me.
Monday, June 1, 2009
hanging in there
France, night
A very short post before to go to bed. It was holidays here today and I went to the beach with my mom. I can't imagine living again in the future far from the sea. I am a true marine organism. Being close to the sea, watching the sea and its movement just gives me some peace and makes me feel happy.
However, I was surprised to see how many women go topless here in the South of France. And the most surprising thing is that the majority of them is for sure over 40 years old. I think in Italy is going out of fashion being at the beach topless, but in any case, the majority of people being topless in Italy are in a range between 25-40 years old. Here the majority of the women have a very large, low breast that proudly show around.
I am totally for the freedom of expression, and I am happy that these women feel comfortable enough to go around with these large things hanging there looking toward their feet. But I have to admit that beside my being open-minded (and I got to think that sometimes my mind is not that open as I would like to think), I was unpleasantly surprised. I think I am just too prude.....
A very short post before to go to bed. It was holidays here today and I went to the beach with my mom. I can't imagine living again in the future far from the sea. I am a true marine organism. Being close to the sea, watching the sea and its movement just gives me some peace and makes me feel happy.
However, I was surprised to see how many women go topless here in the South of France. And the most surprising thing is that the majority of them is for sure over 40 years old. I think in Italy is going out of fashion being at the beach topless, but in any case, the majority of people being topless in Italy are in a range between 25-40 years old. Here the majority of the women have a very large, low breast that proudly show around.
I am totally for the freedom of expression, and I am happy that these women feel comfortable enough to go around with these large things hanging there looking toward their feet. But I have to admit that beside my being open-minded (and I got to think that sometimes my mind is not that open as I would like to think), I was unpleasantly surprised. I think I am just too prude.....
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