The great talent of wasting time

Italy, afternoon

I don't like wasting. I really don't like it. But I have no idea how and why, I waste a lot of time in front of my computer. I switch on the computer with the idea of working, but then outside is a nice sunny day and I am in Italy and it is true, I should have been back at work by now, but the fact is that I am still in Italy, so in theory still in holidays. So, why then should I work? because I have a deadline for a grant application. A grant that started basically with an idea from the olandesino and I and ended up with my counting nothing for this grant except in terms of writing and the olandesino being marginally involved (and not getting money for it). So, why should I work? because if I don't, I feel guilty. Bad beast the guilt. But I do. My work is based on how much you produce and how good it is what you produce, so it is in my own interest working. But I can't. I know I should. But I would prefer doing something else.
So, I am here, with the grant proposal in front of me. I read one sentence and I look for a funny blog to read. I read another sentence, and then I send an email to a friend. Another sentence and I am thirsty so I need some water and so on till 7 pm when I will go downtown to meet a friend.
I am not really productive lately.
I think I worked so much in the past, too much, that now I just need a lot of paid year doing almost nothing. Unfortunately, the chance that I can find someone who pays me to do nothing is almost zero.
So, I think I should start to work. And be productive. And waste last time. And stop blogging. Yes, I should blog less.....Life is hard sometimes.