sometimes

Lucca (Italy), afternoon

Sometimes I feel like life is passing by and I am just an observer. I am not into that. Probably my uncle is right when he says that I live outside the world, in my own space and dimension. But sometimes, in days like today when it is raining outside, when the sky is gray, when lots and lots of car are on the roads, when everyone honks at each other, I just feel kind of numb, like if I was not here participating to what happens, like if my life is not here but is also nowhere else...it is a weird feeling. And it is not necessarily sad or anything, just weird....From time to time I feel into something, living the moment, right there, but most of the time I am just watching other people living their lives, as a spectator watching a movie....
It has not always been like this, but it is like this in these last years...and I am not crazy about it....