pause...stop...restart

I just had a surgery. Out of nowhere this summer, getting checked for something else, the doctor found a cyst badly placed that needed to be removed.
In a couple of month the cyst went from invisible and undetectable, to annoying, kind of painful and anyway always in my mind. As one of my philosophies is to get rid of things that have to be done, I tried to schedule this surgery for as sooner I could.
The sooner was this past monday.
I got to monday totally scared. I can face dangerous situation well, but when it comes to my health (or to the health of someone I love), I feel like I am a big baby. But everything well. The surgery went well, I am still alive, the people at the hospital were all nice and helpful, the doctor who performed the surgery seemed competent and nice (and according to my mom also very handsome), the pain now is bearable, and I am already at home.

I am not good in resting. Not good in pausing my life for whatever reason that it is not dependent on my personal choice. But this was something I had to do, and even if I didn't decide to go for it (and I would have honestly happily avoided it), I am happy the surgery is past. Now I have to "behave" and be able to pause my life and rest.
I left the hospital yesterday around lunch time and today I thought that I could already work, since I was at home feeling slightly better. I quickly got punished. After about an hour behaving like nothing happened, my head started turning, I felt very dizzy and I had to hide in bed for some hours. Did I learn my lesson? To be able to pause and stop my life when necessary, like when my body is sending me messages to slow down......

we will see.....for now I am looking forward to a healthy re-start.....and this so much for living in the present :-(

But I guess that now I have plenty of times to read the books that I have never time to read.