Traveling again

I was supposed to get a train to go to Italy. My best' friend kid is going to be baptized tomorrow. Plus, on monday is my father birthday (not that we ever celebrate the birthdays together), plus I wanted to spend some time with my grandma and mom.

I got back from my previous trip deadly tired and I also had a job interview yesterday (but I didn't get the job). Traveling was the last thing I wanted to do now, no matter if it was about going to Italy or in any other place. I just would like to sleep, enjoy the sun here and have a day in which I can just do nothing if I want to.

I got an email before yesterday, at 11 pm saying that I should go to Perpignan for work. Fortunately Perpignan is still in the South of France and hopefully I can be back tonight.....but still. I canceled my trip to Italy, I woke up at 6am this morning and I am getting ready to move again...

My friend didn't take it well at all. I expected that. She took like I don't care about her and she is not part of my priorities....I knew it. My grandma was not happy either, but she understood. My father will take it very badly too.......

It is amazing how the ones who really give me less in their lives, from whom I never hear in months, than get very disappointed if for ones I let them down and I am not doing what it is supposed to be the right thing. Going to Perpignan is not ideal either for me, but the trip is for sure better than spending 12 hours in a train to be in Italy for 2 days to spend other 12 hours in a train to get back. Of course, as it is me traveling all the time and not them, it is difficult to understand how I could be tired of moving or how I need to be selfish now to be able to sleep and just be without having deep bags under my eyes all the time. I am aware that not going to Italy may not be the right thing to do, but why when I do something to take care of myself which doesn't match the expectations of other people (whom I spoiled probably too much, always thinking about them), then I get people I care a lot about giving me a lot of problems for it???