too old

France, morning

I woke up early this morning, so I have a bit of time to write here. There is a lot going on in my life right now and I would need to step back for a moment to really realize what it is fully. Instead, I keep running all the time.

I was at a friend place a few evenings ago. I had a good time. And when I left, I realized something. Aging is really changing my way of looking at things. Beside the fact that I became more cynical, which is not necessarily a good thing, I am also much more detached and less interested about things that years ago were making me thrilling or at least feeling good.

The point being in this case, men attentions.
There was this young guy the other evening too. I say "young" because he is certainly younger than me, even if I am not sure how much younger. Anyway, he kept flirting with me all evening. And even if I know that this is his way of being, years ago I would have been very flattered anyway. Now, I just look at it with a smile. And I am becoming very good in giving the image of myself as a chick who while getting older, enjoys a lot to just be by myself...which I can't get it why, for men is very attractive....

So, without digressing too much. This guy drove a friend of mine and I near by home and during the trip he was complaining about how I never stop by to say hi to him at his place, even when I go running next to his apartment. Why I don't go to visit him since he has a very comfortable hammock on his balcony (and I love hammocks!!!). Why don't we get together next week, etc. etc. etc. Me, all along this, I was just standing in front of him smiling. Very polite, and meaning nothing special.

Then I got home, and I got a sms from him with his home address...as apparently I forgot where he lives since I never stop by.
Now, it is not that the guy is not attractive. On the contrary, actually, especially for being French :-). It is just that even if I watch a lot of Sex and the City and even if I love this show, I am not quite like that. I have never been like that. But getting older makes me feel that one night stand or a few nights are not for me. And that if I see that with this person it wouldn't go anywhere anyway, I don't even respond to the flirting.

I always enjoyed men attentions....I guess that now together with some white hair (fortunately at the moment only two...I control it almost every day!!!), also my way of looking at things changed in the last years....is it good or bad????