I don't do well

If there is something that makes me very uncomfortable is when people compliment to me for something.

I am not used to compliments, especially if they are honest, said without a second reason. I am not used to niceness. It makes me feel I don't deserve it. It makes me feel I have to perform well to not disappoint someone who has so much faith in me or thinks highly of me.

So, today I got two open reference letters for a fellowship I am applying to. The letters were wonderful. They were more than I could ask or hope. They were both just too much from my point of me. They left me speechless, they left me uncomfortable, they left me happy, they left me nervous, they left me as if I would have steel something from someone, they left me like I tricked the people who wrote them, because I don't feel all the nice things they wrote about me.

I mean. I make a lot of mistakes in my work and there are so many things I don't know and I should know. And I am intelligent, but not incredibly intelligent. My strong points are for sure that I am very good in organizing my time and the things I have to do (which is I guess an incredible skill for an Italian), that I am trustworthy, and that I am almost always in a good mood at work. But what they wrote was not just limited to this, which I could accept and feel I deserve. There were many more nice things about my abilities and my skills at work. Things that I honestly wish they were true, but I am not convinced they are.........

Isn't silly to feel so uncomfortable and guilty because someone wrote something nice about me????

It is good that there is the week end, and I don't have to go to work....because now I just feel like hiding......

What are you wearing?

I saw two t-shirts that I could never wear, not even if they would pay me to do so.

A few days ago, I saw a guy walking toward me with a t-shirt with written: Suck my dick!

I am not sure if he knows what he was proudly walking around with. If he was angry. Or if he was just trying to look cool (does it look cool such a t-shirt?).

If I wasn't shy, I would have asked him about it.

Another day, another guy.
This one had a t-shirt with written: And what about all the good things that Hitler did?

This t-shirt left me speechless. Who would wear such a t-shirt? Let me point out that the guy, except for this t-shirt, was looking totally normal. I checked the back of the t-shirt when he passed me, just to see if there was some following to the front line that could in any way make some sense. Nop. Nothing. Again....who would wear something like that and walk around in it????

A moment of pride

I guess that everyone has heard, at least once in their life, many marvelous things about French food.

I live in France. I can't have any product containing cow milk, and I am not a bit fan of mayonnaise or other sauces.

And I am not a big fan of French food either.

After living in the South of France for more than two years now, I still can't be impressed by the quality of French food. First, I find the choice of French foods quite boring. Second, they use butter or cream everywhere, even with dishes that I don't think go well with any milk products.

All this makes me feel very proud of being Italian.

I have been accused of generalizing my experiences around the world to the few places I visited in each country. True, I didn't travel very much in France, but I did travel a bit. And it doesn't matter if you are in Montpellier, in the South-West (where I have to admit they have a bit of Spanish influence on their food), or somewhere else, you still find similar things to eat.

Where is all the fantastic French food I heard so much about?
Is it only in 5 stars restaurants?

I just got back from traveling with my mom here and there in France. And my mom was surprised too about the lack of variety that you could find when eating in a French restaurant or in a Brasserie. Sure, in France they have great wines (which I don't drink) and great cheeses (most of which I can't eat). But what about the rest? What about regional typical recipes? Of course they exist....but why is it so hard to find something characteristic here and there for a reasonable price, without having to go to one of these restaurants where they serve you a portion that makes not enough even for a single bite?

And if you are vegan, forget of traveling around France. Big cities, such as Bordeaux and Paris have vegan and vegetarian restaurants, but with these exceptions, somewhere else vegan and vegetarian options (except for a salad) are difficult to find.

Italian food is amazingly popular here! We are in France! The kingdom of French cuisine!!!! and what do you see? plenty of quite expensive Italian restaurants always full of people. It doesn't make sense, does it?

And a last thought.
Young people here eat quite badly. I am always amazed when I hear comments about how badly Americans eat. Go to a supermarket in France and check out what people buy, especially young people. Pre-made food, lot of junk food, lot of fatty food. Go near an University place, and check out what students get for lunch............huge sandwiches filled with sauces and various things and then a layer of French fries.....

I think that by coming from Tuscany, I am just very very spoiled in terms of quality of life!