Like an old lady

France, evening

My dinner tonight has been boiled vegetables with some melted cheese. The vegetables were over-boiled so that I could smash them well. Still, it took me more than an hour to eat my dinner, having to stop every few minutes in pain and to put a small piece of cotton back in the right place.

I have no idea how many small pieces of cotton I ate in the last days.
It is not even biological cotton.

But let me go back to where all began.
Last week I started to have tooth pain. I didn't give any consideration to it, till after two days the pain was so strong that I couldn't eat without feeling a sharp pain. I saw a dentist who said that I had an infection in one tooth. The conversation went more or less like that:

-Him: This tooth has been devitalized.
-Me: Yes. In Germany, a few years ago. I had a long surgery to the nerve and the bone around the nerve because there was an infection.
- Him: ah, the Germans.....they never clean the infections!
- Me: I think they did. The surgery lasted quite longtime and I never had any problem after that.
- Him: until now.
- Me: until now, yes. But this happened in 2004, so almost 6 years ago. If the infection was still there, it would have bothered me earlier.
- Him: the Germans are the only ones who never think about cleaning the infection in the tooth too.
- Me: whatever. Can we do something for it?
- Him: sure. Let me make a hole in the tooth, till the bone, so that the anaerobic bacteria will die. If you get fever or your cheek starts to swell, then get an anti-inflammatory and an antibiotic. Otherwise, we meet in a week from now. If you eat, put some small piece of cotton to close the hole in the tooth and remove it after eating.

This is how it went. So, the Germans, who based on my experience are careful in anything they do, turned out according to my dentist to be much less careful than the French........OF COURSE!!! For a moment I forgot the French Dogma:

FRENCH ALWAYS DO IT BETTER!

Even when it comes to dentist, apparently.

Anyway. Have you ever tried to eat with a piece of cotton in one of your teeth? it keeps falling. And if you are like me, by the end of the meal you probably ingested at least two or three pieces of cotton. All this (putting the cotton in the hole in your tooth and putting the cotton back when after a few seconds after you started to eat it falls out of place) is especially unpleasant when you are eating with other people. Of course, my social life is generally flat, but exactly in this moment, I had plenty of invitations for dinners and lunches.
I have to admit that I felt quite embarrassed.
But no fever or swollen cheek.

Things were starting to get better and I was already dreaming of being able to eat properly again and being able to bite things without needing a cotton replacement every few seconds, when today I felt a strong pain again in my tooth and in my head too. Fortunately, the super-French dentist received me at the end of the afternoon.
He did something to fix the problem and when I almost vomited for the disgusting thing that he put in my mouth he said:

-There is nothing better than injecting some bleach into the place where the infection is.

-Me: did you say bleach? In my mouth? so is this thing that I am swallowing now with my saliva a bleach.......????

-Him: Everyone cures infections like that. Of course, not the Germans.

Right....not the Germans......and maybe there is a reason for that.....Now I am going to have a very white throat, teeth (that would be nice), and stomach. Lovely!

Anyway, back to long lasting dinners with soft food and a lot of cotton pieces digested. Plus, antibiotics and anti-inflammatory. French, Germans.....I don't really care who is doing things better at this point....

CAN JUST THIS INFECTION GO AWAY SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE AN OLD LADY ALREADY?????

Fortunately, I love completely destroyed/wet cookies in my tea or coffee....that is perfect now (I can see the faces of at least two people who were going like "uhhhh, disgusting!" every time they would see me doing that :-))

PS. While looking for images of old ladies on google, I got on the blog from where I took the image that you can see with this post. Check out this blog. It has a lot of very nice sketches.

My head and the planes

France, afternoon

I still have to have lunch today. It is so hot that I could fry an egg on my head....I am surprised that I don't see smoke coming out of my ears yet.

I got back from Germany. By the end of my first day there, I started to like the place where I was. Nice people, a lot of green spaces, clean, cheap and good food (I managed to also get something without any milk product!!!)....so, not bad overall.

I don't think I will get the job...unfortunately...they were looking for someone like me but also with more experience in another field...and they also got a lot of good candidates for the position...we will see...

Anyway, I got back by plane. The plane trip cost me more than going to Thailand probably and back. Europe in the summer...crazy expensive! I was also so lucky that I had to spend 6 hours at the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris to wait for my connection. CDG airport is probably one of the worst big airport of the world....badly designed, uncomfortable chairs, not enough things to do.....By the end of the second hours there I was getting in the status of mind of leaving and probably losing my suitcase and got on a train to get back home...Fortunately I had a good book with me and so at the end I made it.

At the interview they asked me if I was married. I got very uncomfortable with such a personal question....but after that, as I new other people there and they also knew the olandesino, they asked me how he was doing....Delicate topic. I am still not able to talk about it, and just a simple question makes me get tears in my eyes and of course when you are among colleagues, you don't want to look over-sensitive....pfffffffffffffffffff......

Today I am in a day of total frenzy to avoid to think.....

So, I got back by plane and I managed to hit my head badly in parts of the planes multiple times. I don't know if this happens frequently also to other people. But for how much I like planes and flying (and I do like both things a lot), my head can always find some extremities on which to bump into very strongly. Yesterday was not so bad. But I should learn to be more carefull, after that I already experienced a bad head concussion for a similar accident on my way back from South Africa some years ago.

Because of the concussion, not only I had terrible headake and problems with body balance, but I also had days of bad nausea. I got quite scared. I had to spend a few days in bed, without any kind of stress. Of course that was not my first head concussion and it will be not probably the last one. It seems that I have a great talent in badly bumping my head against walls, plane parts, and any solid structure that happens to cross my way............

Maybe this can explain why lately I can't remember things anymore and I feel that my intelligence is rapidly decreasing :-(

ohne butter, ohne kase

Germany, lunch time

When you are allergic to something and you have to travel to a country where you don't speak the language, where they don't speak any of the language that you know and where they put this "something" everywhere, eating can became quite a challenge.

I don't speak German. I just know a few words here and there. And as it is lunch time, I was trying to get a sandwich without butter and cheese. It turned out, this is a very complicated task. Much more of a challenge than doing the same thing in France, where at least I speak the language.

I ended up buying just some plain bread and water, after getting something that I thought to be harmless (I asked "was is das?" what is that?, and then "mit or ohne butter und kase?" thinking that they could understand that I was asking if it was with or without butter or cheese) and intead turned out to be made with butter or containing milk....because, and here my mistake, asking if it is with or without butter or cheese doesn't
1) include milk in the list and
2) mean that I am also asking if it is made with some of these ingredients....

So, I got sick....a few hours before my job interview....not too bad, not too bad....

If I will have to move here, I will definitively learn German as quickly as possible if I don't want to spend every day sick.

In any case, being in Germany again after many years and being in another part of Germany, made me realize what it makes me easily sad here. Everything is, or looks, perfect. Well organized, functional, clean. It crushes against the messiness of my life. This country would work perfectly for my mom. But I am more of a far from perfection person and being here just makes me feel even more out of place than I normally feel. My Italianiness doesn't fit with this perfection. Of course, when I lived in Germany I loved the fact that things were working the way you hope they would. That people are professional, that things are clean, that there are plenty of green spaces and bike roads....but when in a country everything seems to work so well, what is it left to complain about? sure it makes your daily life easier, not always worrying about a possible coming strike that would paralyze the entire country for months (like in France) or not being able to see a dentist for weeks because in August nobody works, but still....I need a bit of "out of perfection"....

I guess that this is one of things I loved most about living in Holland. Things work and yet, you also get the feeling that the rules are not so strict and feel a bit free to be messy or different in your own way....

In any case, in France I always tell everyone how great was to live in Germany where daily things actually work. And here, I feel that I miss the messiness of France....I guess that this says a lot about me.....

The best excuses for not needing to shower

France, night

A lot of people seem to arrive on my blog typing "why French don't shower" and then they end up on my post.

Because we are now in the best season to fully appreciate the mixture of natural body odors of whom doesn't shower since days, I decided to list here the best excuses I heard for not showering (and not only from the French):

1) (Currently very common) It is hot outside, so if I shower and go out I will sweat again. I may just not shower till I don't need to go out.

2) (following the previous one) I stay at home, I don't need to shower.

3) (for the winter) It is cold outside, I don't sweat, so I don't need to shower.

4) (the ecologist) Water is a resource to not be wasted. I like to think that if I don't shower, I will help the planet. (this excuse was particularly disappointing as I heard it from a very cute German guy....who unfortunately stank like a goat!)

5) (the self-convinced) I don't sweat. Taking one shower a week is enough for me. The rest of the days I just use deodorant/perfume.

6) (the scientist) Body odors are part of us. They are natural. Humans are the only ones in the animal kingdom who try to cover body odors with artificial things.

7) (for the night people) I like to shower in the morning, it helps me to wake up. Unfortunately, I am always running late, so I don't have enough time to shower most of the days.

8) (for the morning people) I like to shower before bed, so I go to bed clean. Unfortunately, often it is so late by the time that I go to bed, that I just don't shower.

9) (reason for not loving to shower suggested by Nicole in the comment to this post) Not being a big shower-fan because after we have to do the hair.

These are the best excuses for not showering that came up to my mind just now. I will update this post if I will hear or remember new excuses. If you know any good one, please let me know!

I thought of this topic for my night post, as today in France it is the "fete de la musique" day. Basically a day of the music. Very cool. But also an occasion to come very close to a lot of very smelly people.

summer feeling

France, evening

I didn't get too much sleep lately, I am running around all the time, I am very very busy, a lot of difficult/annoying/problematic things happened in the last days and yet, except for a short moment yesterday, my mood didn't collapse yet.

I guess I just love this weather. I guess I am a very Mediterranean person. Give me some sun and a bit of wind and I am totally happy. I am going everywhere by walk in these days, even if this means, like this morning, having to wake up an hour earlier than if I would have taken the tram. But I love to walk in this weather. I enjoy the sun on my skin. I feel that my skin even smells different (well, beside when I am totally sweaty of course). The olandesino always made fun of me, because as a truly Mediterranean person, who is not used to very cold weather, I never know how to dress in a cold winter day. It doesn't matter if I experienced -30 C when I was living in Germany, if I experienced a very cold winter in the USA. I am just clueless on what to wear when it comes to face a cold winter day. I just normally pile up a lot of different clothes, which at the end make me look more like the Michelin man than like a woman.
But put me in a sunny place, like whatever spot close to the Mediterranean coast and I know exactly how to dress, what to wear and look nice in a simple, comfortable way. It is amazing. I always thought for example that Dutch girls dress very well in the winter, but then they have no style at all when it gets warmer. I guess they are used to live with a wet, cold weather. Me, instead, I am used to a nice, warm, windy weather and feel totally at my place with it.
I remember that one day I got to the office in the USA and Scott told me (very openly) that I was looking awful. I still remember that it was cold and wet and so my goal was to feel warm and not get soaked and not necessarily to look good. I guess that I reached my point in terms of feeling warm. But I probably also looked awful as he said.

I applied for a job in Germany. In the North of Germany to be exact. The job sounds quite good and I would have to work with some nice people there....but the weather....oh, gosh.....If I could chose, I want with all my heart to just stay here!!! I am even close to the sea here!!!

All this can help me in facing the every day problems in a much better way, believe me!

A cozy saturday

France, morning

My plan for today was to wake up not too late and go to the writing course downtown. We have a long week end here, since thursday was holidays and in this long week end there is the book festival, with a lot of authors available for signing their books, talk to people etc. Together with this there are also activities for free, like the writing course/stage I wanted to attend this morning. Of course, I woke up late (which is good) and so I missed it.

Very hot and humid here in these days. Fortunately my new apartment is not getting hot too. I am actually wearing a sweater, while to go outside I have to dress like in the middle of the summer. I have to work today, but I don't feel like. So, I think I will just take a relaxing day to enjoy my apartment a bit. I like I lot this new place. I met the guy who lives in front of me yesterday. He is a very nice person. I met him in a weird situation. He basically locked himself outside his apartment and was trying to break in. Because of the noise he was making, I opened the window of my door to check if there was a thief that in the middle of the day was trying to break in that apartment. And so I recognized him as the guy who actually lives in the apartment (I saw him once getting out of there). I gave him my hammer to help him to break into his apartment. Poor guy. He succeeded finally.

Because of this long week end the situation with my old apartment and the agency is still not solved. I guess I have to wait for next week. It is a very bad month for money. I also didn't get a 200$ check that I should have got weeks ago for an interview I got from Animal Planet when I was in the USA. I wonder if I will even see those money.......

But for today, not bad thoughts (at least I will try) and just some relax!
Too bad I don't have anyone to come rollerblading with me. Even if it is very hot, I would like to go rollerblading with someone. I loved when in Germany I was going rollerblading with the olandesino and a friend of us...and then after rollerblading we were always going for a very good ice cream (well, sorbet for me, since I can't have milk or cream)! It was so good!!!

opera

France, afternoon

I am listening to the Madama Butterfly, from Puccini. There are some operas that are so beautiful and the music so touching that I get goose skin every time I listen to them. Because I was listening to the opera, I got to think about my beautiful opera dress. A dress that I got years ago exactly to go to see the opera Don Giovanni at the theater in Munich. A black long dress, with the corset in black velvet and the skirt in silk with velvet embroideries. I wish I could wear it more often. It is in Italy now, as it is not a dress that I would squeeze in a suitcase every time I move from one place to another. And here so far, I never went to the opera, even if there are two big opera theaters. Neither I went to see the opera in New York, even if I would have loved to see something at the Metropolitan. I still hope that one day I will be able to see something, maybe the Carmen in New York.
Getting back to my dress and the opera in Munich. It was such a nice week end that we spent there. We were three, all single at the time. The atmosphere at the teather was wonderful, we were all gloomy, we enjoyed the opera, we enjoyed Munich. It was so nice. There are simple little things that you share with some good friends that will stay in my mind forever and will make me smiling with tenderness every time I will think about them. The week end in Munich for the opera is one of them. Beside, it was also very funny as I am not able to walk on heels and so of course I had high heels under my beautiful elegant dress and of course as soon as I stepped outside the apartment door, I twisted my ankle and almost felt. Like in a movie, the olandesino who was next to me (and at that time was just a friend) caught me before I could touch the floor and ruin my beautiful dress.

If I think about it, I did a lot of cool things in my life so far. I saw a lot of places, met a lot of amazing and interesting people, learned a lot of things....mmm pretty cool, yes.... and I was thinking a few minutes ago that in my life what it matters most to me is the precious relationship I built with some of the members of my family and my close friends. I can consider myself lucky for the people I met in my life so far (of course, excluding a few very bad bad ones....)....